Witchpricking

[ray miller]

On oranges or lemons we’d practise:
the nearest resemblance to skin.
When we thought we’d finally cracked it
the actual injections could begin.
In the upper outer quadrant we’d find
the spot where the needle went in.
We imagined we were being kind.

There was something lurking inside them
that might pick up a weapon and shriek,
so we’d smile to show we weren’t frightened
and respond with an empathic speech.
Of course, they were all out of their mind
and the source of their false beliefs
must somehow be attacked from behind.

We’d not believe that their fathers and mothers
were as wicked as they liked to tell.
Their histories lay undiscovered,
we took care not to fall under their spell.
Years ago their bodies would’ve been consigned
to the stake or a deep dark well.
Our methods were much more refined.

A complaint about medical treatment
would be revealed as a lack of insight
or evidence of unreason
and the dosage increased overnight.
And so in time their symptoms declined
like the fading of a too bright light
within the kingdom of the blind.

[jisbell00]

Hi Ray,

Great title, and for me, a somewhat depressing read. This I think is a tribute to how accurate your take is on a very depressing thing, the medicalization of the insane. I of course am delighted to be on a med these days that makes my life livable outside of a secure facility, but I have vivid memories of other drugs tried on me in the past, Haldol in particular, which zombifies, though they won't tell you that when you Google it. Ah, the medico-pharmaceutical industry.

One footnote: I feel like a lot happens orally these days, rather than cutaneously. But witchpricking captures the thing in a single word. Oh - I like your singsong rhythm as well.

Cheers,
John

[CalebPerry]

Ray, this is a fabulous, fabulous poem. I just love it. I may keep it in my file of great poets by other authors (if you feel it is finished).

It is insightful, it is creative, it is delightfully rhythmic, and the rhyme is excellent. This is one of the best poems you have written, so much so that it makes me envious (not, of course, that this is a subject I could write about).

One thing: Shouldn't "empathic" be "empathetic"?

Very well done!

[jisbell00]

Just to agree about the off-rhyme, which I think you do really well, Ray, here not least. And to bump this fine poem up, it deserves more views.

I write more regular meter than this, of course: ti-tum ti-tum!

Cheers,
John

[David]

The content is great, as usual, but the metre comes and goes for me. The first six lines are great - those galloping triplets (don't ask me what they're called, but you know what I mean) - but then L7 seems to limp along in quite a different rhythm. And that's what happens for the rest of the poem (and seems to extend to the last three lines of V4).

Or am I just reading it wrong? (Or reading it right and you did it on purpose - that, probably).

Cheers

David

[ray miller]

Hi Ray,

Great title, and for me, a somewhat depressing read. This I think is a tribute to how accurate your take is on a very depressing thing, the medicalization of the insane. I of course am delighted to be on a med these days that makes my life livable outside of a secure facility, but I have vivid memories of other drugs tried on me in the past, Haldol in particular, which zombifies, though they won't tell you that when you Google it. Ah, the medico-pharmaceutical industry.

One footnote: I feel like a lot happens orally these days, rather than cutaneously. But witchpricking captures the thing in a single word. Oh - I like your singsong rhythm as well.

Cheers,
John

Thanks John. It's been 15 years since I worked in Mental Health, but at that time the fad was Outreach Service, Home Treatment, Depot Injections - a term I've always been kind of fascinated by, the body as a warehouse. I should write a poem about it.

[ray miller]

Ray, this is a fabulous, fabulous poem. I just love it. I may keep it in my file of great poets by other authors (if you feel it is finished).

It is insightful, it is creative, it is delightfully rhythmic, and the rhyme is excellent. This is one of the best poems you have written, so much so that it makes me envious (not, of course, that this is a subject I could write about).

One thing: Shouldn't "empathic" be "empathetic"?

Very well done!

Thanks Caleb. I'm surprised you rate it so highly, but I'll take that. For me it feels like going over old ground. Empathic and empathetic mean the same thing, I think.

[ray miller]

Thanks, David. I vaguely remember borrowing the rhyme scheme from some other poem I've read, possibly the rhythm too. Yes, the metre comes and goes a bit, but I've done worse.

[jisbell00]

Hi Ray,

Depot injections. Id' not heard the term, but I do know people who get monthly shots rather than take a daily pill, the argument being it is more stable and reliable. Which may sometimes be the case. Of course, there are meds and there are meds, pretty much univerally with side effects, I think. The industry does like lifetime or chronic patients in my experience, and the MDs seems fairly comfortable to go along with that, not in mental health alone, at least in the US.

Cheers,
John

[nash]

The title grabbed me right away.

Interesting rhyme scheme, ABABCBC, not sure I remember coming across it before. Is it me or is there something quite discomforting about it (in a good way)? I seem to be expecting an 8th line with a B rhyme but it brings us up short. I like it.

[jisbell00]

That is in essence Dante's terza rima: ababcbcdcde, I think. Three of each rhyme interwoven like a zipper, so nobody can add or subtract from it.

Cheers,
John

[Macavity]

The conviction, and the powerlessness, no doubt a sad reality, but I hope there were methods and outcomes that could be celebrated in a poem? There must have been some positives in your job Ray? Anyway, good poem.

[ton321]

Hi ray

Not sure if it's just me,(short poem specialist) but the first stanza would work as a stand alone piece.
I get he gist. Don't beat my head with the following stanzas, unless your saying something new
Tony

[ray miller]

Thanks all. Yes, Tony, it could certainly be shorter. Phil, spent the great majority of my career working with "long-stay" patients/clients, people who remained where they were and didn't tend to get better. Bit like us on Proleartthreat.

[David]

Phil, spent the great majority of my career working with "long-stay" patients/clients, people who remained where they were and didn't tend to get better. Bit like us on Proleartthreat.

Okay, made me laugh.