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not a haiku
nothing to do
takes time
getting out of bed
.
Not a Haiku
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Last edited by NotQuiteSure on Tue Feb 23, 2021 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi Not,
I kind of want some type of punctuation at the end of the first line. What do you think? Or alternatively you could just start the poem with a lowercase letter and leave it without any punctuation at all. Personally, I think that would work better and maybe make the title all lowercase too. I think it’s more a senryū than a haiku. It’s more about human nature than an image relating to nature.
Cheers,
Tristan
I kind of want some type of punctuation at the end of the first line. What do you think? Or alternatively you could just start the poem with a lowercase letter and leave it without any punctuation at all. Personally, I think that would work better and maybe make the title all lowercase too. I think it’s more a senryū than a haiku. It’s more about human nature than an image relating to nature.
Cheers,
Tristan
.NotQuiteSure wrote: ↑Tue Feb 23, 2021 1:04 pm.
Not a Haiku
Nothing to do
takes time
getting out of bed
.
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- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3514
- Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 4:05 pm
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Hi Tristan,
thanks for the read and the suggestions.
Yes, I think all lowercase and no punctuation would do.
Regards, Not
(tweaked accordingly)
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Hi Tristan,
thanks for the read and the suggestions.
Yes, I think all lowercase and no punctuation would do.
Regards, Not
(tweaked accordingly)
.
Catchy senryu.
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- Perspicacious Poster
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- Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 4:05 pm