Conservative Deamtime
Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2022 5:43 am
The year is 2050, the population is 10 Billion … kangaroos, that is.
Kangaroos are all over the world, from the arid lands of Saudi-Arabia to the German coastline of the Dutch Sea, where all the Saudis live.
The kangaroos hop about eating the tough dry weeds and turn that into protein.
It is 2050, and Greta Thunderberg is one very indignant grey haired refugee now living in the camps atop the Austrian alps.
Yes, she is truly pissed-off, because you know how much she hates Germans.
A beef-burger will set you back 400 Trillion New US pesos and Pepsi LLC is the worlds richest corporation with control of more than a quarter of all the worlds fresh water.
President Ronaldo Trumpando of Mexico and the Middle States, is talking war on Le Federacion Du Quebec to take back Michigan and gain access to The Great Ponds and to those temperate pastures.
(People say that Trumpando is in the pocket of Big Water, but that is just a lie)
So Kangaroos are everywhere, except Australia of course, because there is one environment that not even those hardy macropods can survive. That is the tailings pits of abandoned Uranium mines.
Dear reader, you may be thinking “This is just Republican bashing thinly disguised as satire”, but far from it.
In 2050 The New Republican Party is the greenest of all political movements, why they were the party to introduce the death penalty for lighting an Incandescent Light Bulb.
It is only the most retro-idiological of Democrats that counter-productively protest such sensible measures as the Universal Vasectomy Mandate.
(Why do they protest?, I mean, the procedure is free.)
It is not all doom and gloom in 2050.
The Boomer Generation no longer endlessly reboot tired old movie franchises, in fact they are nowhere to be seen.
they mostly wandered off into the desert years ago. After the Coffee-Blight struck, they just seemed to lose the will to live.
It is Gen-Z-Omega that joyously fill the streets now, riding on their electric scooters with those enormous monster-truck style tyres to traverse the mounds of plastic waste, and the occasional homeless person, that clog the roadways.
The New Republic provides much needed social services to the public.
All children, with a valid vasectomy card of course, can receive a free education at the local Mosque. And Homeopathic Medicine, via Government Subsidy, is available at the same price as Water.
Yes, the price of Water has been in the news of late, but President Trumpando has been working closely with the Centers for Disease Development to perfect the bio-cleanse missile system to pin-point target francophone vowels and so secure water resources for the glorious future of The New Republic.
Witness the enthusiastic response from the record breaking crowds at the Presidents latest rally where he delivered the following speech.
“There are those that grumble and moan about the state of the world, and there always has been.
But together we will push forward, to a future like things used to be in the past.
Once those ungrateful dissenters amongst us are eliminated,
united as one we can take back our Water and there will be Cow-Burgers for all who serve!”
{Raucous applause from the crowd}
Kangaroos are all over the world, from the arid lands of Saudi-Arabia to the German coastline of the Dutch Sea, where all the Saudis live.
The kangaroos hop about eating the tough dry weeds and turn that into protein.
It is 2050, and Greta Thunderberg is one very indignant grey haired refugee now living in the camps atop the Austrian alps.
Yes, she is truly pissed-off, because you know how much she hates Germans.
A beef-burger will set you back 400 Trillion New US pesos and Pepsi LLC is the worlds richest corporation with control of more than a quarter of all the worlds fresh water.
President Ronaldo Trumpando of Mexico and the Middle States, is talking war on Le Federacion Du Quebec to take back Michigan and gain access to The Great Ponds and to those temperate pastures.
(People say that Trumpando is in the pocket of Big Water, but that is just a lie)
So Kangaroos are everywhere, except Australia of course, because there is one environment that not even those hardy macropods can survive. That is the tailings pits of abandoned Uranium mines.
Dear reader, you may be thinking “This is just Republican bashing thinly disguised as satire”, but far from it.
In 2050 The New Republican Party is the greenest of all political movements, why they were the party to introduce the death penalty for lighting an Incandescent Light Bulb.
It is only the most retro-idiological of Democrats that counter-productively protest such sensible measures as the Universal Vasectomy Mandate.
(Why do they protest?, I mean, the procedure is free.)
It is not all doom and gloom in 2050.
The Boomer Generation no longer endlessly reboot tired old movie franchises, in fact they are nowhere to be seen.
they mostly wandered off into the desert years ago. After the Coffee-Blight struck, they just seemed to lose the will to live.
It is Gen-Z-Omega that joyously fill the streets now, riding on their electric scooters with those enormous monster-truck style tyres to traverse the mounds of plastic waste, and the occasional homeless person, that clog the roadways.
The New Republic provides much needed social services to the public.
All children, with a valid vasectomy card of course, can receive a free education at the local Mosque. And Homeopathic Medicine, via Government Subsidy, is available at the same price as Water.
Yes, the price of Water has been in the news of late, but President Trumpando has been working closely with the Centers for Disease Development to perfect the bio-cleanse missile system to pin-point target francophone vowels and so secure water resources for the glorious future of The New Republic.
Witness the enthusiastic response from the record breaking crowds at the Presidents latest rally where he delivered the following speech.
“There are those that grumble and moan about the state of the world, and there always has been.
But together we will push forward, to a future like things used to be in the past.
Once those ungrateful dissenters amongst us are eliminated,
united as one we can take back our Water and there will be Cow-Burgers for all who serve!”
{Raucous applause from the crowd}