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C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2021 6:45 am
by Amadis
Extensive empirical evidence, with global replication, has shown that Felis Catus Domesticus shows a marked tendency toward Inside-Outside Superposition.

This superpostition is characterised by the CAT being Inside, clearly wanting to be Outside.
After interaction with the force-carrier particle called a Humon, the CAT will transition to Outside.
But as soon as the CAT is observed to be Outside, it will clearly want to be Inside.

Hence the CAT Inside-Outside Superposition oscillation is apparent.

Some theoretical physicists have postulated the possibility for CATs to quantum tunnel from Inside to Outside space without the interaction of Humon particles. This postulate comes under the moniker of “Cat-Door” theory.
Cat-Door theory is highly speculative and rejected by most mainstream cats.

The reason for this skepticism is thus:
Current Feline Field Theory clearly states that only un-charged animals could possibly pass though any proposed “Cat-Door”, unless composed of exotic (never before observed) DOOR-MATter.
Otherwise the CAT-ions would collapse the door immediately into a shower of Meow Particles.

With Cat-Door research in it’s infancy and still not accepted by the mainstream, the puzzle remains.

Further research is needed.

Terms and References:
---------------------------
Felis Catus Domesticus is referred to by the acronym of “Common Anthropocentric Tabby”, or CAT in this paper.

"Cat-Door Theory" written by Gretta Dogg PhD, Published by Universite de Alsace

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2021 1:08 pm
by NotQuiteSure
Hi Amadis,
fun idea, but I don't think you've quite got the fur-sics worked out yet. Are 'superposition' and 'oscillation' compatible? I'm not sure they are. And some of the nomenclature leaves a lot to be desired; for starters the 'anthropocentric' in CAT means the opposite of what you're implying.

Extensive empirical evidence, with global replication, has shown that Felis Catus Domesticus shows a marked tendency toward Inside-Outside Superposition.
- what does 'with global replication' mean here. Specifically how is it different from 'extensive empirical evidence'?
Try
The author believes there is now a sufficient weight of empirical data to support the theory that Felis Catus Domesticus is capable of Paradoxical Inside-Outside Superposition, or PIS (see bibliography).

This superposition is characterised by the CAT being Inside, clearly wanting to be Outside.
After interaction with the force-carrier particle called a Humon, the CAT will transition to Outside.
But as soon as the CAT is observed to be Outside, it will clearly want to be Inside.

- like the 'Humon' particle, but phrases like 'clearly wanting' weaken the 'objective, scientific' nature of the piece.
Where SUPERPOSITION is understood as the CAT ...

Hence the CAT Inside-Outside Superposition oscillation is apparent.

Some theoretical physicists have postulated the possibility for CATs to quantum tunnel from Inside to Outside space without the interaction of Humon particles. This postulate comes under the moniker of “Cat-Door” theory.

'moniker' is ill-chosen. Surely you can do better then 'physicists' ... felisists?

Cat-Door theory is highly speculative and rejected by most mainstream cats.

What are 'mainstream cats' (if CATS are the objects of study)?

The reason for this skepticism is thus:
Current Feline Field Theory clearly states that only un-charged animals could possibly pass though any proposed “Cat-Door”, unless composed of exotic (never before observed) DOOR-MATter.

Is it the animals or the door that is composed of exotic matter?
Otherwise the CAT-ions would collapse the door immediately into a shower of Meow Particles.
like DOOR-MATter and Meow Particles, but the rest seems a bit weak, especially (never before observed) - that's not what 'exotic' (in this context) means.

With Cat-Door research in it’s infancy and still not accepted by the mainstream, the puzzle remains.

Further research is needed.

Cut these two lines

Terms and References:
---------------------------
Felis Catus Domesticus is referred to by the acronym of “Common Anthropocentric Tabby”, or CAT in this paper.
Felis Catus Domesticus, hereafter CAT ( Common Anthropocentric Tabby)

"Cat-Door Theory" written by Gretta Dogg PhD, Published by Universite de Alsace
Why go with the Dogg joke if there's nothing else in that vein?


Worth working on.

Regards, Not

.

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2021 8:58 am
by Amadis
Firstly, Thank you so much Professor for taking the to time read and review my paper.
(Gotta suck up to the hierarchy if you wanna get anywhere)

That being said, I feel you may be misunderstanding some terms and nuance to the findings in my paper.

(Gotta fight back a little, not look like a wimpy know-nothing)

Secondly, may I rebut some perceived misconceptions of my thesis.

The Anthropocentric in the acronym CAT, states the centrality of the Humon interaction, without which the phenomenon would not be catalysed, or as some would say, observed.
There are also those in the “soft-sciences” that would say that some animals become so entrained as to be Anthropocentric in outlook.


“the CAT being Inside, clearly wanting to be Outside.”
This is a term written in what is called “Common English”, which is spoken in “the streets”, that may be unfamiliar to one such as yourself.

Here I translate:
Where [Hp >=0] { Cd=sgn(SIN(2Pi*t/t)) }
So you see, the CAT-Humon interaction forms a square wave oscillator with a frequency of Cd, and a duration of Hp, where Hp is the Humons patience, merely the limit to the duration of observance of oscillation. But not proof of the oscillations cessation.

Thirdly, given that you have some valid criticisms,
(always gotta throw them a bone)
I shall revise my paper to correct these grammatical and typographical shortcomings in the Draft.
(Gotta re-write the whole f%$#ing thing now, damn it!)

Superposition and oscillation are almost synonymous in quantum field theory, so if anything it is tautology to use these terms in succession.
(Oh, shit, I should not have admitted that)

Fourthly:
We both know that Professor Dogg has been poo-pooing on CAT theory for decades.
With respect, I say that professor Dogg has been a champion of the D.O.G. theory long after the evidence has shown that we should look in other directions, such as those proposed by yourself..

(Professor and her never saw eye-to-eye, I think I should switch, maybe even earn some spiteful brownie points)

With academia clearly favouring the felineist interpretation, I propose that the observed CAT oscillation is a true quantum superposition, the observance of which is limited only by the short Humon particle attention-span.

{Parallel / Alternate ending:
In conclusion the evidence favours that, as stated by professor Dogg, the existence of CAT-doors is counter-indicated by the observed production of Meow particles in proximity to DOOR-MATer.}


Sixthly?

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2021 12:01 pm
by NotQuiteSure
Firstly,
you are welcome.

Secondly, the first.
Regarding 'anthropocentric' - I don't think you clearly established the connection between it and Humon, and if you're going to bring in the 'soft sciences' it's a clear sign you're already conceding the argument.

Secondly, the second,
Superposition involves, as far as I understand it (which is to say not very), an adding together of two or more quantum states resulting in a valid, third quantum state. In your argument there is q-state one (inside) and q-state two (outside) but no q-state three/superposition. Merely a discussion of a putative mechanism (Humom) to account for the transition from one state to the other.

Thirdly,
'common English',
it is a very poor student who fails to match language to context. Clearly some remedial instruction between formal and informal modes of expression in Science is required. Professor Edant is expecting your call.

Fourthly,
it is only in the (very big) but of your rebuttal that you think to mention the D.O.G theory. Such an omission is evidence of a mayfly mind, one perhaps not best suited to the rigours of fursics.

Fifthly,
your treatment of the debate concerning CAT-doors and Mewons is far too superficial, and lacks any demonstration that you understand the arguments on both sides of the vernacular fence.

Sixthly,
overall, the reply was funnier and more linguistically consistent than the original.

Seventhly?

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 2:34 am
by Amadis
Thankyou so much for your generous rating of my thesis, albeit not a passing score.

(Pompous fossil of a curmudgeon, at least I’ll out-live the old bastard.)

So informative were your insightful critiques of my assumptions, methods, presentation, data-analysis, formulae and conclusions.

(Yer, I really “screwed the pooch” with this one, but as circumstance would have it “screwing the pooch” opens another door of opportunity.)

I regret to inform you that I have accepted a position at the Universite de Alsace under the tutelage of Professor Dogg.

(Yer, I’ll be under her tutelage all right. Uggh, that Doggie-breath!)

I say Thankyou for a fourth time in this letter, for all that you have provided toward my education.

(Au revoir, professeur, see you at Le funéral)

P.S. I would ask that you delete all copies of my Draft paper, as I now have a new revision, with some slight alteration to conclusions, posted to the Universite de Alsace.

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 10:48 am
by NotQuiteSure
Pussy.

I take note of your new position, whilst expressing neither surprise, nor regret.

It would be a poor teacher who did not wish a poor student well.

Fursics is a broad (though occasionally fundamentalist) church; the Standard Moggie coexists comfortably with the Many Bowls Hypothesis and Quantum Furmodynamics, the Returning Stick Problem is subject to the same scrutiny as the Nine Lives Theorem. Perhaps, under Dogg's guidance, you may yet make a positive contribution.

With regard to your 'Draft Paper' - I see I need to remind you of the Conservation of (Quantum) Information Principle - consider it hidden.
(N.B At some stage you may wish to investigate the distinction between draft and abstract.)

Disdainfully,


cc. P. Edant

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 11:33 am
by Amadis
[9 months later]

Dear old Professor,

I realise that the publication of Professor Dogg’s (Best-Selling) book:
“CATS are not quantum objects – subtitle - professor X is as wrong as CAT shit”
may have been a little disconcerting to yourself and damaging to the reputation of The Institute.

(I hope he doesn’t know that I suggested the title.)

That is why I am writing to you, for I believe I can help The Institute, and yourself, in the course of redemption.

It seems that Professor Dogg, has had more hypothesis than can be accounted for by Theory.
And I assure you that the Theory could not not possibly be mine.

(Cuckolding bitch. Now I have to grovel to this old fossil)

There have been a few developments here in France, what with the “Moi Aussi” movement and all.
There are already two pending investigations into Professor Dogg, and her "relationships" with students.

Perhaps I could add my testimony to make four?
(Surely even the rusty old Prof’ can see the sense in that arithmetic. )

With your recommendation, I could return to The Institute, with a slightly upgraded score on my original Draft thesis.

Should you see your way to, provide the way for me to return, I would be grateful and reciprocate in ways that could deflect attention from The Institute, and from yourself.

I await your reply, Sir.

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 1:46 pm
by NotQuiteSure
I am reminded of the proverb that ends "gets up with fleas" for some unaccountable reason. Perhaps it's my age.

I thank you (you'll forgive me for forgetting your name, so many students, so little talent) for your efforts to lift my spirits. "Best seller" was a jest that left me breathless for almost a full minute. And, of course, reminded me of your many intellectual deficits. That you think (if that's an applicable term) that we, at the Institute, would not avail ourselves of Neilson's (Measurement) service, which recounts, in the sort of detail that your work so often lacked, a precise number of book copies sold, is lamentably predictable. I hardly think that 37 constitutes a 'best seller', but clearly, you have lower standards. Of course 37 is a number easily accounted for by Dogg's relatives, paramours, grovelling students and the anonymous copy that arrived on my desk. That one had your fingerprints all over it. Literally. Did you forget that we have a most proficient furensics department here? Surely you must recall that incident in your last term? When was that? A few weeks before you decamped to Dogg, if memory serves. Just a coincidence I am sure.)

I took the liberty of sharing your correspondence with Dr. Mary Gell-Cat at Furmi Labs and emeritus Professor Feline Dyson (of Cat-Tech) and both were sympathetic (to the point of involuntary hysterical incontinence). The good Doctor wished me to remind you that Kentucky Fried Children are always on the look-out for fat scrapers, and the Professor was anxious that the opportunities offered by Starducks (semi-literate container inscriber) were not overlooked. I feel sure that Lüber, or some other gig-economy denizen will suit you well enough.

You'll forgive me for not dallying further. I have a retirement and husband to enjoy. And that Gorbals Prize Money won't spend itself you know. Oh, no, of course you don't. How could you?

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 3:21 am
by Amadis
Thankyou so much Professor for your career advice, it really helped me to broaden my horizons.

I have moved to Texas, and landed a great job with a new startup company called Enron.

The recruitment officer was so very interested in my ideas about things being in one place, but also not being in any place, all at the same time.
They said that my grasp of arithmetic was innovative, and hired me on the spot!
I felt so welcomed.

Although I spend most days signing my name to liability documents, the pay is good, and I like the climate here.
I can see a great long-term future for myself in this new position.

So I Thank you for a third time in this letter for your advice and guidance.

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:58 am
by NotQuiteSure
Bloody useless spam filters.

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 9:14 am
by Amadis
THIS CORRESPONDENCE HAS BEEN REDACTED BY CORRECTIONAL SERVICES OF THE STATE OF TEXAS

Hello old Prof’.,
How’s life in the cloisters?

Thankyou for sending me a copy of your book titled:
“CATS can tunnel through walls – but Students can Not! {smiley-face-emoji}”

As you no doubt heard, I have had a little detour in my fortunes.

(I was able to trade the book for half a hacksaw blade and a bent spoon.)

I now share a cell with Leroy, he is a big wheel around here. He's a really great guy, deep down.
He can be a bit demanding sometimes, I mean physically, so now my [REDACTED] is so [REDACTED], I can’t even [REDACTED] without my [REDACTED] coming out [REDACTED] shaped.

But overall, I’m making my way here, and Leroy has my back, so I’m moving on up the social ladder, lickety-spit.

My lawyer says that I could be out in few months, using the “Patsy Plea”.
They sure do love their Country Music around here in Texas. It seems you can even use it to plea in court.

Leroy says he has a job all lined up for me, as soon as I get out.
He says that my [REDACTED] could mule a [REDACTED] amount of [REDACTED], and my British passport is perfect for that.
Leroy says I can earn ten percent.

(That is twice as much as half!)

I have listed you as a sponsor on my parole application, giving your home address. I trust that sits comfortably with you.

( I lifted your signature from inside the dust-jacket of the book you sent me)

If the case goes as planned, I could be on your door-step before you know it.

See you soon Dear old Prof.

Re: C.A.T. Superpostion - A Scientific Paper (Draft)

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2021 1:46 pm
by NotQuiteSure
Congratulations son.
I'm sure that you'll be thrilled to know that you have come first, for the third consecutive month, in the Texas regionals (Dumb-ass that puts the dumb into Dumbest Dumb-ass, Criminal, amateur, category) over here at the FBI.
When you're released (assuming you live that long) why don't you mosey on over to us here in Dallas (the address is One Way Justice), save us the trouble of hunting your worthless ass down for conspiracy to import and distribute class A narcotics, prostitution, forgery, and whatever else we can think of.

In case you haven't worked it out already, son. The professor's moved (and indeed moved on). He don't live there no more. Now there ain't nobody but us and your old pal Leroy interested in your ass. And what he's been doing to it will seem like a mercy if you mess us about.

Be seeing ya.

Nathaniel Emesis (SAC).