She was a stupid dog

[byneothr]

She was a stupid dog, or smart. I will never know. She didn't like the pills the vet said she had to take for a liver condition. Part Rottweiler,
part German Shepherd, she commanded respect from strangers. I just saw her as my puppy grown. Trying to pry open her jaws with one
hand, holding the pills in the other, I discovered was not a task for one. I'd have to out think this dog if I were to have a chance keeping her
healthy.

I wasn't thinking.
Though I'm not St. Francis,
I thought she'd understand

I wrapped the pills in American cheese. I'd surround them in hot dog pieces. Nothing worked for long. Once she learned that there was a pill
lurking in her kibble, she found a way to defeat my effort. She'd eat around, spit out, or ignore anything she thought might be hiding a pill. I
talked to the vet asking for an answer. She only offered suggestions that didn't work. After a time, I gave up.

You may fool me.
A winter day pretends Summer,
don't stop chopping wood.

Something woke me. I went to see if my dog was okay. She was awake. Her eyes seemed tired. I talked to her. I asked her if anything was
wrong. Her tail rose and dropped, just once. I petted her and told her that she was a good doggy. I made promises. As I rose to go back to
bed, I saw her attempt to rise. She was unable. I called her. She tried to come, but couldn't. I put on some clothes and carried her to my
car.

I found an emergency vet. I filled out some forms. The vet said "dysplasia". I asked what I could do. "Nothing".

How far off ending?
Let's play and make promises,
living only now.

I was alone in the car. It might have been better if you were there, with me, but you had left some time before.

Loving is clinging
to the dream that was you,
to the dream that is not.

Love is clinging.
Ignorant though it may be,
I do continue.