Take me down the dusty roads of time, when real men ruled and from their wages bought five Woodbine and several pints of ale on a raucous weekend night, before returning to their hovelled plight and their grey women. Women who knew their place was a space in the kitchen or on hard bed which shook the floor as another miner’s tyke was made, joining the three in the mildewed room next door.
Take me to my Grandad’s prime, when oiled machines hummed and thrummed and red hot swarf harmed hand and eye and silent fibres of asbestos dust brought on the cough that caused the lesser men to crawl away and die.
Take me to the glory days, when marching ants in scarlet coats, white gloved hands, white cockatoo plumed hats and blue serge pants stained the world the unhealthy pink of conquered lands and, leaving trails of blood, showed how low a nation could sink. While back home, the white roses of Kew still bloomed and continued spawning the men of men who aspired to be leaders, Christian and Victorian.
[Poem of same name posted in Beginners' Forum]
The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]
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- Preponderant Poster
- Posts: 1232
- Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:27 pm
- Location: Kosmos
Hi John, I want to say I think this is quality writing.
I've been to the Beginners' department (ach, so many rooms in this mansion I haven't had time to explore properly yet!) and read your two other versions as well.
As far as I can see, this one provides the best and the most powerful flow. Your very rhythmical verse-version has a pronounced appeal of its own; but this prose-poem version ploughs deeper: the subject-matter really comes into character here, where you give it sufficient line-length to pick up a momentum. Gives the reader more substance to chew on, so to speak.
And it does deserve being bitten into and chewed well. Thought-provoking stuff, I say, and thanks for a terrific read. (Golden age, good heavens.)
Jane
I've been to the Beginners' department (ach, so many rooms in this mansion I haven't had time to explore properly yet!) and read your two other versions as well.
As far as I can see, this one provides the best and the most powerful flow. Your very rhythmical verse-version has a pronounced appeal of its own; but this prose-poem version ploughs deeper: the subject-matter really comes into character here, where you give it sufficient line-length to pick up a momentum. Gives the reader more substance to chew on, so to speak.
And it does deserve being bitten into and chewed well. Thought-provoking stuff, I say, and thanks for a terrific read. (Golden age, good heavens.)
Jane
Everything looks better by candlelight.
Everything sounds more plausible on the shortwave.
Everything sounds more plausible on the shortwave.
Thank you Jane.
That makes you my favourite person at the moment (we are such fickle people).......
Seriously, it is good to receive positive feedback occasionally - that is the incentive to carry on and try to get better.
J.
That makes you my favourite person at the moment (we are such fickle people).......
Seriously, it is good to receive positive feedback occasionally - that is the incentive to carry on and try to get better.
J.
Before you shave with Occam’s razor - Try epilation or microlaser
Hi John, you might be surprised to see your prose poem commented on again ?
Well, I've just been reading a poetry magazine I'd picked up and I was pretty downhearted as non of the poems in the magazine spoke to me. I was feeling quite inadequate as I just couldn't 'understand' where the poets were coming from. I thought I would take a look through the forum for some consolation and came across 'The Golden Age.'
I knew after just reading the first line that I was going to enjoy it. And if for nothing else, I am commentating just to say 'I enjoyed it John.' No technical comments I'm afraid. But the prose does speak to me and it takes me to a place in time that I enjoy reading about.
Thanks for cheering me up.
Deryn
Well, I've just been reading a poetry magazine I'd picked up and I was pretty downhearted as non of the poems in the magazine spoke to me. I was feeling quite inadequate as I just couldn't 'understand' where the poets were coming from. I thought I would take a look through the forum for some consolation and came across 'The Golden Age.'
I knew after just reading the first line that I was going to enjoy it. And if for nothing else, I am commentating just to say 'I enjoyed it John.' No technical comments I'm afraid. But the prose does speak to me and it takes me to a place in time that I enjoy reading about.
Thanks for cheering me up.
Deryn
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- Perspicacious Poster
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- Location: At the end of stanza 3
Hey yes..I'm with Deryn..from before my time, but this is very good John. Also very good example of one of those poems that seem to be and are polemical, but yet, a wee bit, love what they condemn.
Cheers,
Ant
Cheers,
Ant
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Thank you for this, John. It stimulates poetic thinking as I read it. It reminds me very much of Edward Hirsch's poem, "Special Orders":
Jackie
http://bigthink.com/videos/edward-hirsch-reads-aloudGive me back my father walking the halls . . .
Jackie
I especially like the grey women's space in the kitchen—not even the whole kitchen!
And the title—not letting the sarcasm out right away but letting it build, little by little.
Jackie
And the title—not letting the sarcasm out right away but letting it build, little by little.
Jackie