Exercise: Nonsense poetry
- mesmie
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Well Ben
I have had a go at recording this one m'self but I do think it needs a bloke's voice! You gonna take up the challenge?? I wonder would anyone take up the challenge?.. It would be interesting to listen to different takes on this.
mes
I have had a go at recording this one m'self but I do think it needs a bloke's voice! You gonna take up the challenge?? I wonder would anyone take up the challenge?.. It would be interesting to listen to different takes on this.
mes
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Here's my take on it Mes
- mesmie
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Ben........I am in love....this is most excellent thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!!!...oh hell gonna play it for the umpteenth time now.. Now can you do it with a Scottish accent?...
again many many thanks
mes
again many many thanks
mes
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In love with a Vogon? I should go careful there Mes
Scottish accent, um I try to avoid that as it usually ends up sounding like a Chinese man who has spent too long in Wales.
Scottish accent, um I try to avoid that as it usually ends up sounding like a Chinese man who has spent too long in Wales.
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It's brilliant, Ben and Mesmie! I think we should insist on all poems being done in this format. We could submit them to the IBPC...
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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- bodkin
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Because I never realised stage-directions were allowed...
-- During this speech THE HERO enters,
dressed as an office supplies store manager and
dragging an trolley with a sundial on it.
........So it begins, the introduction: to chaos,
........disorder, theft and ructions. This is Swan Lake on Ice
........and Hamlet in spades; a tale of one man
........and his cavalcade of cats, pianos and kings.
........Enough introduction. Begin!
-- Cue dancing girls.
........(assertively)
........I dismiss you; you lurid, dancing pastries
........and comprehensively invite
........those who will not spend the night
........to exit by stages left at once.
-- Release the Penguin.
........(shocked)
........Ah! Frippery, flippery, fishy and drippery.
........Be gone!
-- F/X Smoke, lightning, a distant scream.
........(amused)
........Is this it? The singing of the dead choir
........and serving up with parsley sauce -- how quaint.
........Oh let these tantrums run their course,
........and when you drift, flaccid and weak,
........to worlds beyond the edges of sleep
........(kindly)
........I shall embalm you -- at no extra charge.
-- Fade to black.
........(philosophical)
........Silence is golden, to gladden the heart,
........and this is the verge of the state of the art...
........and the
........rest
........is
........custard.
-- During this speech THE HERO enters,
dressed as an office supplies store manager and
dragging an trolley with a sundial on it.
........So it begins, the introduction: to chaos,
........disorder, theft and ructions. This is Swan Lake on Ice
........and Hamlet in spades; a tale of one man
........and his cavalcade of cats, pianos and kings.
........Enough introduction. Begin!
-- Cue dancing girls.
........(assertively)
........I dismiss you; you lurid, dancing pastries
........and comprehensively invite
........those who will not spend the night
........to exit by stages left at once.
-- Release the Penguin.
........(shocked)
........Ah! Frippery, flippery, fishy and drippery.
........Be gone!
-- F/X Smoke, lightning, a distant scream.
........(amused)
........Is this it? The singing of the dead choir
........and serving up with parsley sauce -- how quaint.
........Oh let these tantrums run their course,
........and when you drift, flaccid and weak,
........to worlds beyond the edges of sleep
........(kindly)
........I shall embalm you -- at no extra charge.
-- Fade to black.
........(philosophical)
........Silence is golden, to gladden the heart,
........and this is the verge of the state of the art...
........and the
........rest
........is
........custard.
http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/
- bodkin
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Thanks Mesmie,
You and Ben get the credit for that one, you put "(sobbing)" and then Ben took it as a stage direction when he read it and I just went with the idea of that, possibly also inspired a little by the way Bluebottle used to read all the stage directions out loud in the Goon Show...
Hi Neil,
Something in the vein of One Way Pendulum, do you think?
"Crot Boss Huns" -- something to do with Atilla?
Ian
You and Ben get the credit for that one, you put "(sobbing)" and then Ben took it as a stage direction when he read it and I just went with the idea of that, possibly also inspired a little by the way Bluebottle used to read all the stage directions out loud in the Goon Show...
Hi Neil,
Something in the vein of One Way Pendulum, do you think?
"Crot Boss Huns" -- something to do with Atilla?
Ian
http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/
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Have you ever read Vachel Lindsay's "The Congo" http://xroads.virginia.edu/~HYPER2/Lind ... html#congo He is the only poet I have seen use stage directions (previous to Ian). An idea that didn't catch on unfortunately.
Nice job, Ian.
Neil what an amazing amount of spoonerisms, simply marvellous.
Nice job, Ian.
Neil what an amazing amount of spoonerisms, simply marvellous.
- mesmie
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Ben
[To the tune of "Hark, ten thousand harps and voices".]...only know Hark the herald angel sings!
"Mumbo-Jumbo is dead in the jungle.
Never again will he hoo-doo you.
Never again will he hoo-doo you."
I so enjoyed these and it got me to thinking of music and the terms used etc etc yes I like the thought of scripting how to read some poetry..lol mind you..could become sooo complicated!
mes
[To the tune of "Hark, ten thousand harps and voices".]...only know Hark the herald angel sings!
"Mumbo-Jumbo is dead in the jungle.
Never again will he hoo-doo you.
Never again will he hoo-doo you."
I so enjoyed these and it got me to thinking of music and the terms used etc etc yes I like the thought of scripting how to read some poetry..lol mind you..could become sooo complicated!
mes
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Sorry this is getting off topic.
There have been various attempts to devise notation for poems like for music, but all of these have been shunned by main stream poetry. Lindsay's is probably the closest to being accepted. Personally I feel it is a shame, punctuation is great for indicating where to pause and to some extent how long to pause. Beyond that there is no control over tempo, volume, emotion. The way I read a poem can differ widely from the way you read it and massively from the way the author wants it to be read. This doesn't happen in music and occasionally I find it a shame.
There have been various attempts to devise notation for poems like for music, but all of these have been shunned by main stream poetry. Lindsay's is probably the closest to being accepted. Personally I feel it is a shame, punctuation is great for indicating where to pause and to some extent how long to pause. Beyond that there is no control over tempo, volume, emotion. The way I read a poem can differ widely from the way you read it and massively from the way the author wants it to be read. This doesn't happen in music and occasionally I find it a shame.
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I slap floor,
as ill proof
of oral slip.
O, pillars of
proof - all is
fair, so poll
for Alp soil.
Frail pools
slop, ail for
fills. A poor
floor pails.
- Neil
as ill proof
of oral slip.
O, pillars of
proof - all is
fair, so poll
for Alp soil.
Frail pools
slop, ail for
fills. A poor
floor pails.
- Neil
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
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\ /iagra pills.
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Spammer Bill.
Would you like them
every day?
Would you like them
spelt this way?
I don't not like them
everyday.
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spelt this way.
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Here online
I would not like them
anytime.
I do not like \/1agra pills.
I do not like them, Spammer Bill.
Would you take them
for half-price?
Would you take them
if I'm nice?
Not for half-price.
Not if you're nice.
Not every day.
Not spelt this way.
I will not buy them here online.
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I will not buy vlagra pills.
I will not buy them, Spammer Bill.
Would you? Could you?
at this site?
Buy them! Buy them!
Late at night.
I would not,
could not,
at that site.
You might buy them.
spelt like this.
You might buy them
here's a list.
I would not, could not off that list.
Nor late at night, even if pissed.
I do not want them for half-price.
I do not want them if you're nice.
I do not want them every day.
I do not want them spelt this way.
I do not want them here online.
I do not want them anytime.
I do not want \ / 1agra pills.
I do not want them, Spammer Bill.
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buy from Spain?
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I will not buy them spelt this way.
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I will not buy them anytime.
I will not buy \ / 1agrA pills.
I will not buy them, Spammer Bill.
Say!
When you're down?
Then when you're down!
Would you, could you, when you're down?
I would not, could not,
when I'm down.
Would you, could you, under strain?
I would not, could not,
under strain.
Not when I'm down and not from Spain.
Not from this site. Not spelt like that.
I do not want them, you're a twat!
Not for half-price. Not if you're nice.
Not everyday. Not spelt this way.
I will not buy them here online.
I will not buy them anytime!
You do not like
\ / | AgRa pills?
I do not
like them,
Spammer Bill.
Could you, would you,
from Russia?
I would not,
could not,
from Russia.
Would you, could you,
from Prussia?
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I will not, will not, from Prussia.
I will not buy them under strain.
I will not buy them not from Spain.
Not when I'm down. Not spelt like that.
Not from this site. Don't be a twat.
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I do not want them spelt this way.
I will not buy them here online.
I do not want them anytime.
I do not want them \ / | A_G_r_A pills.
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Last edited by BenJohnson on Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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This isn´t complete nonsense, but might not get an airing anywhere else
post removed to allow journal submission ...
og
post removed to allow journal submission ...
og
Last edited by oranggunung on Sun Apr 05, 2015 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
- bodkin
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I think most of those words were long overdue some exercise...
I mean, I probably don't use "Yttriferous" more than two or three times a day
I mean, I probably don't use "Yttriferous" more than two or three times a day
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Bodkin I'm shocked by that confessionbodkin wrote:I think most of those words were long overdue some exercise...
I mean, I probably don't use "Yttriferous" more than two or three times a day
Orang, I really enjoyed your offering. I think it deserves an airing elsewhere.
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Og,
That is just splendid. A very touching and funny dialogue.
FWIW: I don't think you need the bold capitals.
Ben,
Ha - a real LOL moment for me. Clever and astute.
Thanks both,
- Neil.
That is just splendid. A very touching and funny dialogue.
FWIW: I don't think you need the bold capitals.
Ben,
Ha - a real LOL moment for me. Clever and astute.
Thanks both,
- Neil.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
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Thanks for the responses.
Sorry if I was heavy-handed with the capitals. I tried an acrostic a little while ago and sneaked it in under the radar.
The bold emphasis can be removed.
As regards a wider airing, I wasn´t sure where to put it. It seems a little frivolous.
Sorry to hear Yttriferous isn´t in common usage. Next thing you´ll be telling me Brobdignagian is obsolete.
og
Sorry if I was heavy-handed with the capitals. I tried an acrostic a little while ago and sneaked it in under the radar.
The bold emphasis can be removed.
As regards a wider airing, I wasn´t sure where to put it. It seems a little frivolous.
Sorry to hear Yttriferous isn´t in common usage. Next thing you´ll be telling me Brobdignagian is obsolete.
og
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Surely poetry can be frivolous as well as serious, I feel it is the quality that makes the difference.oranggunung wrote: As regards a wider airing, I wasn´t sure where to put it. It seems a little frivolous.