Meter / tin ears

Beat writers' block here.
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clemonz
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Sun Mar 30, 2014 10:35 pm

too close

My mind returns to discomfort, 
The heaven of an over turned
Bowl full of dust and tar. I've learned
That happiness is not a thought
Which opens to a thing this close.
It is a breathing in, to cut
That short. I'm glad to be here, but
These people are too strong a dose.

How would you scan this???
"It is not necessary that a poem should rely on its music, but if it does rely on its music that music must be such as will delight the expert."
Ros
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Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:45 am

No time now - I find the first 3 lines not regular, then it becomes more iambic.

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clemonz
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Mon Mar 31, 2014 9:15 pm

The main stick points are bowl and my... But isn't is true that my only needs to be stressed if you want to emphasise it being my mind rather than someone else's? Ie, moot.
"It is not necessary that a poem should rely on its music, but if it does rely on its music that music must be such as will delight the expert."
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Jackie
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Mon Jul 28, 2014 12:49 pm

Clemon, I just saw this. You may have moved on past it, but why not check out the stress (peaks in amplitude) in your own speech using spectrum analysis software? Such as Praat or WaveSurfer?

The assumption being that metrical beats in poetry (ought to) follow the natural stresses in speech.

Jackie
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clemonz
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Tue Aug 05, 2014 4:43 am

i don't think that's the issue; i don't think the issue is being tone deaf. i think it's that i'm not compellingly musical.
"It is not necessary that a poem should rely on its music, but if it does rely on its music that music must be such as will delight the expert."
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