Three completely seperate verses (revised)

[blueknight]

PSEUDONYM

They disregard them,
reward the followers,
encompass the impressionable,
obey the strong,
punish the wrong,
they are who?
We ARE we,
but who is anyone?
It certainly isn’t me.

FROM THE HEART

I’ve gotta snap out of this mood,
it exudes,
gathering darkness,
shark sharkness,
meandering fools not taken lightly,
tight, tight, tightening oh but oh ever so slightly,
gathering anger,
monumental morosement,
don’t give me away- SSSSSSSHHH,
it might be you oneday.

AFRAID?

Give me the moon,
give me the night,
when all is over,
there will be no fright,
but whatever the outcome,
I shall be a force,
in spirit,
in life,
goodnight.

[Arcadian]

I'm sorry blue knight - but you have lost me on this one

You have 3 capitalised headings - are they 3 different poems /vignettes ? if not why capitalise - i dont see any radial connection here - in fact what is the primary metaphor and its extension(s) ?

my only thought is some sort of psychosis where the logical faculty can not discern real from the imaginary - or as mentioned in this forum your " wide angled religious discursions ? - is this is your intention - if it is then your poetry is treading on thin ice of abstractions and you likely to lose the reader


Arcadian

[blueknight]

Sorry, I should have called them '3 different verses', I would have thought that that was obvious, the verses have no connection what so ever with one and other. The dispersions about them being angling towards trying to confuse the reader seem somewhat unwarrented and the bit about 'wide angled religious' unintelligable.

Pseudonym- about state (religioous if you like!) power, monolithic like institutions monopolizing our thoughts etc (can we not be our own)

From the Heart- disenchanted people that are pissed off.

Afraid...Puts forward the idea that theres no need to be afraid, theres a better place...maybe?

I'm sorry if i am treading on thin ice, i hope that with this reply i haven't broken through that ice and that i am not drowning as you read it.

Blueknight

[Arcadian]

religious themes such as love of god, salvation etc - unless handled well by the writer/poet - tend to fall into abstract concepts making hard for the reader to gain entry into poets world - T.S. Eliot talked about objectivity in poetic writing ( read the waste land - and the 7 pages of notes for his allusions/references )

Now blueknight you talk about :

" Pseudonym- about state (religioous if you like!) power, monolithic like institutions monopolizing our thoughts etc (can we not be our own) "

you are telling us this - show us instead through your writing and instances of this - why are you pre digesting this for the reader ?

I hope this helps

cheers
Arcadian

[blueknight]

OH!...sorry you knew it already....i'll shut up then, sorry for any inconveniance, I didn't realise I was up against somebody with a higher I.Q.; sorry about that.

Blueknight x

[blueknight]

I'll 'pre' apolagise for that last message...but only if you seen it as being rude.

[Arcadian]

blueknight relax ! - you make me laugh,

Iam trying to enjoy the many ideas you have in your writing - do not take offence ( this was not my intention - never is )

my idea of state religious institutions maybe different from yours hence be more objective in your writing and show the readers through instances and scenarios and develop these ideas ...rather just stating/ telling them

This can be were readers may see new insights etc that perhaps may have eluded them.

It was suggestion to be more objective in your writing thats all - take what you need from this critique

cheers
Arcadian

[blueknight]

sorry again!!!...tempermental poet here...I now know 'miraculously!' what you meant...the verses told you, they didn't 'inspire'.

Thanks, Blueknight