Version II: Object Permanence
As the boy plays peek-a-boo, his mother
vanishes from the universe. A beat,
and then his mother reappears. It’s strange
how easily she comes and goes! The boy
coos with delight as that familiar voice
says peek-a-boo. She’s back. And there is nothing
this universe contains one half so precious
as Mother, it’s not clear where she begins
and he leaves off, the loss is absolute
that her return averts. I am no babe
in arms, these days, and I can testify
that objects leave the world and don’t come back,
and some of them are precious, and the heart
records their loss, as if for the first time.
Version I: Object Permanence
As the boy plays peek-a-boo, his mother
vanishes from the universe. A beat,
and then his mother reappears. It’s strange
how easily she comes and goes! The boy
coos with delight as that familiar voice
says peek-a-boo. She’s back. And there is nothing
this universe contains one half so precious
as Mother, it’s not clear where she begins
and he leaves off, the loss is absolute
that her return averts. This will not be
the only loss this boy will ever face,
and some won’t end so happily. I am
no babe in arms, and I can testify
that objects leave the world and don’t come back,
and some of them are precious, and the heart
records their loss, as if for the first time.
Object Permanence
peek-a-boo is one of my fav words John, my ear picked up on coo as well, which is always a nice trigger to more innocent places (as well pigeons). The poem threads into the experience of loss as years go by from this beginning, explains the concept, but does not lose its heartfelt centre. Good poem John.jisbell00 wrote: ↑Sat Apr 13, 2024 3:47 amObject Permanence
As the boy plays peek-a-boo, his mother
vanishes from the universe. A beat,
and then his mother reappears. It’s strange
how easily she comes and goes! The boy
coos with delight as that familiar voice
says peek-a-boo. She’s back. And there is nothing
this universe contains one half so precious
as Mother, it’s not clear where she begins
and he leaves off, the loss is absolute
that her return averts. This will not be
the only loss this boy will ever face,
and some won’t end so happily. I am
no babe in arms, and I can testify
that objects leave the world and don’t come back,
and some of them are precious, and the heart
records their loss, as if for the first time.
Thank you, Phil, I'm glad the poem works for you! Peek-a-boo seemed a good thread to hang the ruminations on. Glad you enjoyed the peek-a-boo and the cooing! I should send it to Fliss as well.
The story goes that kids learn object permanence around 2-3, as I recall. So peek-a-book is quite alarming!
Cheers,
John
The story goes that kids learn object permanence around 2-3, as I recall. So peek-a-book is quite alarming!
Cheers,
John
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This will not be
the only loss this boy will ever face,
and some won’t end so happily.
Hello John. I think you could leave that passage out and have a more dramatic, poignant ending.
the only loss this boy will ever face,
and some won’t end so happily.
Hello John. I think you could leave that passage out and have a more dramatic, poignant ending.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
Hi Ray,
Thank you for stopping by. I'm trying out your version. I'm not sure I could have written my poem had this one not existed: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/ ... -ball-poem
Cheers,
John
Thank you for stopping by. I'm trying out your version. I'm not sure I could have written my poem had this one not existed: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/ ... -ball-poem
Cheers,
John
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I don't know that the omission of that passage has made it any worse. I'd go no further than that. The epistemology of loss,,, whilst I quite admired the Berryman poem it seems to be begging for a lampoon. I might write one myself on the loss of one's balls.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
- CalebPerry
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I like the poem, John. I think is works very well.
One thing, though. It says that the baby is playing peak-a-boo, but isn't it the mother who is playing peak-a-boo? Isn't it the mother's hands that are opening and closing?
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Sorry to bring up one of my own poems, but I thought you might like "Homecoming", but you said nothing about it. It has dropped down in the list a bit.
One thing, though. It says that the baby is playing peak-a-boo, but isn't it the mother who is playing peak-a-boo? Isn't it the mother's hands that are opening and closing?
==========
Sorry to bring up one of my own poems, but I thought you might like "Homecoming", but you said nothing about it. It has dropped down in the list a bit.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
Hi Caleb,
To me, mother and child play peek-a-boo together. It's likely the child's first game. His participation is somewhat passive.
I'll take a look at Homecoming, though really, I've stopped posting and commenting here beyond a bare minimum for politeness's sake. I do stop in.
Cheers,
John
To me, mother and child play peek-a-boo together. It's likely the child's first game. His participation is somewhat passive.
I'll take a look at Homecoming, though really, I've stopped posting and commenting here beyond a bare minimum for politeness's sake. I do stop in.
Cheers,
John
- CalebPerry
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No need to look at Homecoming if you don't want to.
I think you should participate freely here, though keep your new-poem posts to a level where the few members who are participating can keep up. If you are not feeling wanted here any more, that's not coming from me.
I think you should participate freely here, though keep your new-poem posts to a level where the few members who are participating can keep up. If you are not feeling wanted here any more, that's not coming from me.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.