Window writes short poem about a girl

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camus
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Thu Mar 14, 2024 1:30 am

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Macavity
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Thu Mar 14, 2024 3:53 am

Great title, like the format. There is an option to simplify. undiluted carries a lot of emphasis. I feel the poem is better without it. On a similar note, you could go for 'be' rather than the 'evolve', which is human weighted. Despite the implied, hoped for progression, perhaps the naivety plays best in wishes. Anyway enjoyed.
jisbell00
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Thu Mar 14, 2024 4:29 am

Yup, great title. Nice ekphrastic piece.

Cheers,
John
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