Practical Religion

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
Post Reply
jisbell00
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5606
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 4:53 am

Wed Mar 13, 2024 1:50 am

Practical Religion

“For I will consider my cat Jeoffry.”
Christopher Smart


I learned that I was going to die,
one Easter morning, bright and clear.
I saw the sun rise in the sky,
serene, as if that sky were near.

Could there be dignity to this
journey through madness – with a man
who stands back up, though Nemesis
has come athwart the race he ran?

Or could it be we hear his voice
call up from under brick and stone –
out of the depths? We have no choice
but answer. We are not alone.


“This is the lamb that bears men’s sins.
So, drive him forth,” I hear them say.
“In his rejection health begins.
Make fast the gates. Put him away.”

If you live under lock and key
until some doctor lets you go,
you’ve lost your rights. That seems to me
regrettable, but good to know.
User avatar
CalebPerry
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 3060
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am

Wed Mar 13, 2024 3:03 am

This is a very appealing poem. The rhythms and words are lovely. I'll need to read it a few more times to fully grasp what you are saying, although it doesn't seem too complicated.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
jisbell00
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5606
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 4:53 am

Wed Mar 13, 2024 4:34 am

Thank you, Caleb, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I do try to keep things simple, especially in tet where Hilaire Belloc is my model:

The chief defect of Henry King
Was chewing little bits of string.

Cheers,
John
Post Reply