There is no water in the cup.
How are we
to drink our fill?
There is no cup, no water.
How are we
to give this learning up?
Out of the tunnel
comes nobody whatsoever.
Heart Sutra
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CalebPerry
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3060
- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
I'm on my way to bed, but just want to say I like it. If this were mine, I'd keep working on it to see what images I could come up with for the stanzas, possibly increasing their number. I've been listening to Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" lately, and man, I love the images he came up with for that poem -- especially the later version that had more stanzas.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
Hi Phil, hi Caleb,
I’m glad to hear you both enjoyed this one! I did try to make it as empty as possible. OTOH, I read it to a Zen monk one day and he was puzzled. The Heart Sutra is a key (and very short) Buddhist text.
Caleb, I share your love for the song Hallelujah, it’s brilliant. I can imagine this poem with more going on, but as I was saying, my goal was to be as empty as possible, on the principle that less is more. it’s a bit of a contrast with the rest of the MS>, which tends to get chatty. I’m hoping folks will find it refreshing!
So for the moment, I’ll probably leave it to sit on the page.
Cheers both,
John
I’m glad to hear you both enjoyed this one! I did try to make it as empty as possible. OTOH, I read it to a Zen monk one day and he was puzzled. The Heart Sutra is a key (and very short) Buddhist text.
Caleb, I share your love for the song Hallelujah, it’s brilliant. I can imagine this poem with more going on, but as I was saying, my goal was to be as empty as possible, on the principle that less is more. it’s a bit of a contrast with the rest of the MS>, which tends to get chatty. I’m hoping folks will find it refreshing!
So for the moment, I’ll probably leave it to sit on the page.
Cheers both,
John
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CalebPerry
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3060
- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
John, I wasn't thinking about this poem in the context of your manuscript. I should have considered that.
Please note that I just reread a thread from 2022 and discovered that I inadvertently snubbed you. Please read the PM I just sent you about the incident.
Please note that I just reread a thread from 2022 and discovered that I inadvertently snubbed you. Please read the PM I just sent you about the incident.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
