Version II: Apocalypse
is revelation. And this was a revelation –
the sky peeled back and the hidden was revealed.
The high were brought low and the low exalted –
insects found themselves on a par with popes.
I was emptied like a bathtub. We were all emptied!
And I brought apocalypse into the world,
the way a telephone line brings news of home.
Broken on the wheel of God,
I cut the Bible into two.
I took my shoes off, which was odd.
How shall we judge the things we do?
When I knew for certain the answer to every question,
I wrestled with the angel until the sun came up.
I stripped to my underwear; I lay flat on the ground;
I drove our city limits and blessed the entire town.
The town today seems more or less unchanged –
but I have changed, burned in God’s refining fire
like a piece of toast forgotten in the toaster.
Version I: Apocalypse
means revelation. And this was a revelation –
the sky peeled back and the hidden was revealed.
The high were brought low and the low exalted –
insects were suddenly on a par with popes.
I was emptied like a bathtub. We were all emptied!
And I brought this apocalypse into the world,
the way a telephone line brings news of home.
Broken on the wheel of God,
I cut the Bible into two.
I took my shoes off, which was odd.
How shall we judge the things we do?
When I knew for certain the answer to every question,
I wrestled with the angel until the sun came up.
I stripped to my underwear; I lay flat on the ground;
I drove our city limits and blessed the entire town.
This town today seems more or less unchanged –
but I have changed, burned in God’s refining fire
like a piece of toast someone forgot about in the toaster.
Apocalypse
Thank you, Phil! I'm glad you enjoyed bathtub and toaster. I think there needs to be some sort of grounding of this kind of thing in the everyday and the actual. Dante does a lot of that in his Divina commedia, keeping it real, so to speak. 
I'll have to ponder dropping like: I prefer that moment as simile, not metaphor, but any alternative - much as, the way - either gets poncy or long-winded to my ears. It's also got my chatty tone, to undercut the refining fire in the previous line.
Cheers,
John
I'll have to ponder dropping like: I prefer that moment as simile, not metaphor, but any alternative - much as, the way - either gets poncy or long-winded to my ears. It's also got my chatty tone, to undercut the refining fire in the previous line.
Cheers,
John
This is from your mania MS, is, John? (If I can call it that.)
The central section is an interesting insertion.
As Phil says, the bathtub image is a striking one. The whole thing is striking, and - I think - effective.
I wonder whether the last line would read more smoothly (if you want smoothness, which you may not) as "like a piece of toast forgotten in the toaster".
Cheers
David
The central section is an interesting insertion.
As Phil says, the bathtub image is a striking one. The whole thing is striking, and - I think - effective.
I wonder whether the last line would read more smoothly (if you want smoothness, which you may not) as "like a piece of toast forgotten in the toaster".
Cheers
David
Hi David,
Yes, this is from the mania MS. – that’s a fairly exact description. It’s now called The Opposite of Time.
Interesting is one of those two-edged words, never to be used of cooking, for instance. I do hope the middle section was interesting in a good way!
Glad you liked the bathtub image, and it is heartening to hear the whole thing seems fairly effective to you. Striking is another word I like.
I do want smoothness! I am a great fan of ti-tum ti-tums, and so I adopt your proposed edit with enthusiasm.
Cheers,
John
Yes, this is from the mania MS. – that’s a fairly exact description. It’s now called The Opposite of Time.
Interesting is one of those two-edged words, never to be used of cooking, for instance. I do hope the middle section was interesting in a good way!
Glad you liked the bathtub image, and it is heartening to hear the whole thing seems fairly effective to you. Striking is another word I like.
I do want smoothness! I am a great fan of ti-tum ti-tums, and so I adopt your proposed edit with enthusiasm.
Cheers,
John