Christmas Scrolling…

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
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the stranger
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Thu Dec 21, 2023 10:42 pm

Just a casual bear swim

That’s all

Christmas tree possessions have been
reported to the council’s exorcism department

Bound to fall

How to look like a bellend when
receiving a platonic hug

Don’t call

Celebrate your pet with a handcrafted wooden carving
Likes yellow mustard and Jethro Tull.

My son’s work treats its employees to
Mall of America Day.

Yet again that oaf has destroyed
the nativity.
jisbell00
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Fri Dec 22, 2023 12:00 am

Hi there.

My fave bit is the closing couplet, which I think is great.

Cheers,
John
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CalebPerry
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Fri Dec 22, 2023 2:37 am

I don't fully understand every line, but I like the way it floats from beginning to end. What I'm picking up is a commentary on the consumption that Christmas brings, but you also seem to be saying more than that. I see you have posted 300+ times, but I don't remember you (sorry). It must have been a while.

I love your avatar.
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If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
David
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Fri Dec 22, 2023 4:46 pm

Some great snippets here. Fragments of dystopia.

This is someone's alter ego, is it not? The dark side, perhaps.

Howdy, stranger.

David
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the stranger
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Fri Dec 22, 2023 10:34 pm

Thanks guys.

John,

Yes I try to use 'oaf' as often as I can, a great word.

Hey Caleb,

Yes, it has in a way, been a long while!
What I'm picking up is a commentary on the consumption that Christmas brings
You are correct sir. But there is another element to it, to which I'll explain.

Howdy David,
This is someone's alter ego, is it not?
Quite possibly, but really much simpler. The clue is in the title.

I was scrolling through Facebook and grabbed a few key phrases, embellished them, and voila! Really a 'found poem'

Cheers
TS
ton321
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Sat Dec 23, 2023 4:54 am

It is what it it is but it sure aiyn't poetry
Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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the stranger
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Sat Dec 23, 2023 6:38 pm

Tony,
It is what it it is but it sure aiyn't poetry
Ever heard of the cut-up technique? The Dadaists used it, Burroughs popularized, Bowie used it... To me that's what 'found' poetry is. I enjoy it, it's fun.

BUT if it isn't poetry to you, then it isn't. Each to their own.

Cheers
TS
nash
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Sun Dec 24, 2023 10:39 pm

I always enjoy found poetry, it's a fascinating thing. That last line though, what a gift!
ton321
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Mon Dec 25, 2023 2:51 am

I found my cock the other day, does that make it found cock-art?

Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
nash
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Mon Dec 25, 2023 9:59 am

ton321 wrote:
Sat Dec 23, 2023 4:54 am
It is
what it
it is
but it sure
aiyn't poetry

I found
my cock
the other day
does that make it found

cock-art
Hmmmm...
Ryder
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Mon Dec 25, 2023 10:26 am

see, poetry is easy
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