At A and E.

[ton321]

When I arrived it was almost empty.
I chose my seat left of centre.
Those grey plastic chairs were almost a pleasure.

Gradually it filled up, with wheelchairs, drunks,
people wearing dressing gowns, and togas.


She asked if the seat was taken,
an older woman and she plonked herself down;

we swapped our stories about what was mended and broken.

I mentioned old wives tales

how a sweaty sock wrapped around a neck
might stave off a cold and how

we might ride the bow wave of illness….



I handed her some herbs out of my pocket,
known for their medicinal properties.

She unclasped some seeds from her mothers locket.

I gave her a rabbits foot.
from a dirty handkerchief-

She handed me a badgers paw,
that was mostly bristle and claw
to be dabbed thrice on the wound,
under the glare of a pink-moon.

Not to be outdone, I showed her the poultice on my arm,
how the knot was tied, and how it was kept warm.

I nearly died when the Doctor called my name.

[CalebPerry]

Interesting poem. I'm not following every line of it, but it sets an interesting mood, something which is hard to do in poetry.

It would help me to know what A and E is.

I like "plonked" instead of "plunked" -- it has more character.

If this was a medical institution where this happened, you certainly had an interesting exchange with the other person.

[ton321]

Thanks Caleb,

It's Accident and Emergency in the hospital.
T

[CalebPerry]

I knew it was something medical. I was thinking Ambulance and Emergency.

Here in the U.S., we have hospitals and emergency-care centers.

[jisbell00]

Hi Tony,

The tone and the pacing here speak to me - I like it. It's an unexpected scene, and i think you've captured it nicely. I could imagine the list of examples being shorter - I think once youv'e got the idea, there's a risk of belaboring the point. But maybe that's just me!

Cheers,
John

[Macavity]

Like it Tony. The scene setting was measured, particularly liked the dressing gowns and togas, but the fun of the poem was the competition with alternative medicines. I think a nurse is likely to call your name rather than a doctor?

[nash]

For me, the poem doesn't really start until L6. Do we need the scene setting, I'm not sure it adds anything to the main part of the poem? "I chose my seat left of centre" sounds like it should be relevant, but is it?

[David]

I like it. I see Nasher's point about the start, but I like the details - they animate it, and they seem true to the experience to me.

I particularly like "we might ride the bow wave of illness…." - still thinking about that, not being a very nautical sort, but it's a great line.

Cheers

David

[jisbell00]

It is a great line, isn't it?

There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the full, means victory...

Cheers,
John

[ray miller]

Brilliant. Made me laugh. It's a left-of-centrish kind of poem, I suppose. These kind of exchanges are run of the mill in our family. My wife will try, or recommend anything so long as it's not prescribed by a doctor.

Maybe
She was an older woman, asked if the seat was taken,
plonked herself down;

[ton321]

Thanks John, Mac, David, Ray for the comments. I see your point Nash in that it needs trimming.
I spent 8 hours waiting at A and E a few months ago and it was quite an experience to watch the various characters stagger, roll, fall or get pushed in on their wheelchairs, into the waiting area, with the occasional scuffle and obscenity from the drunks. Sad to say bit it livened the place up a bit as well.

Tony

[CalebPerry]

Now that I understand where you were, I definitely like the poem too. I must have been tired when I first read it because I should have been able to figure it out. Now it all makes sense.

I've never been a fan of large vertical spaces in a poem. Poets seem to be using vertical spaces these days in place of ellipses. In this case, I don't think either ellipses or large spaces are needed, as the poem flows well.

[ton321]

Thanks Caleb

People-watching has become one of my favourite hobbies nowadays

Tony