A Poem for Your Tooth (Revision 5)

[Morpheus]

Morning all,

I've posted another version without line length variations where I've tried using centre justify and fancy formatting.

I'm not sure how it'll look on the standard PAT interface though (I don't use the black background).

On Word I can also use signature style fonts for Dear Lucy and Love Snowdrop.

[Lia]

Hi Morpheus,

This looks good. I have a few thoughts so I'll just bring up the poem as we're on the second page:

A SPECIAL COLLECTION & DROP


Hi Lucy,

It's Snowdrop, a girl with a winter bloom too;
we both started life when the frosty winds blew.
And now I’ve just heard from our red robin friend:
The tooth Lucy wobbled fell out this weekend.
Fear not, a new tooth will sprout up in its place
and I’ve left a gold coin: check inside pillow case.

All of this works well for me but I wonder about the last line of this stanza. It jolts a bit after the fluid lines. Would you consider something like:

and I've left a shiny coin inside your pillow case.

I shall cherish your tooth as a precious new pearl;
on a silver bell catwalk I’ll give it a twirl.
It’ll go on display for the fair folk to see
at musée de la reine in our stately birch tree.
So thank you, dear Lucy, for keeping it clean;
your snowy white crown’s a great fit for our queen.

To me, all of this second S is lovely.

I sign with a spellbinding oath and promise:
Your next tooth collection is not one I’ll miss.

I wonder about these two lines. The end of the second one seems clunky. Would you consider this:

I'll sign off with a spellbinding oath and promise:
Your next tooth collection won't be one that I'll miss.


Love Snowdrop xx

Did you say that you are entering it into a competition? If you are, you might not be able to include colour... depending on the comp, of course.

I was given a book of fairy poems called, The House in the Clouds, when I was little. They were written by Mrs Malcolm Mason, and I was fascinated by the magic world she created. She inspired me to continue with poetry. I think that's what this kind of poetry can do for young minds.

Lia

P.S. I just saw your AI poem on Beginners. Is that how this tooth fairy poem started, too?

[Morpheus]

Hi Lia, thanks for coming back and your help is very much appreciated. I've revised the poem to sort out the last two lines because I agree they were a weak spot. I had a complaint somewhere else about the forced stress on your in the pillow line and pillow is clumsy so my solution was a kind of spondaic command

Did you say that you are entering it into a competition? If you are, you might not be able to include colour... depending on the comp, of course.

It's for a themed submission. The journal and editor and US based so I needed to check the American take on this. Apparently they don't wobble teeth, they wiggle them and some of the other meter tweaks have been to suit the American English ear.

I was given a book of fairy poems called, The House in the Clouds, when I was little. They were written by Mrs Malcolm Mason, and I was fascinated by the magic world she created. She inspired me to continue with poetry. I think that's what this kind of poetry can do for young minds.

It's more along the lines of Flower Fairies by Cicely Mary Barker. Those illustrated poems were a favourite of my late Grandma and it's long been a family tradition for the tooth fairies to write to the children. I had a boy fairy was called Rowan for an Autumn birthday. Lucy's birthday is in January. Here's a link for anyone interested:

https://flowerfairies.com/category/collections/winter/

P.S. I just saw your AI poem on Beginners. Is that how this tooth fairy poem started, too?

Ha! No chance, chatbots are not good poets yet.

It's main useful purpose as far as I can see it is interpreting opaque poems or poems of any kind by paraphrasing, lavishing praise by critique or summarising long books into short poems.

I've just instructed it to write a tooth fairy poem by a fairy called Snowdrop for Lucy.

Snowdrop's Blessing for Lucy: A Tooth Fairy's Tale

In moonlight's gentle shimmer, Lucy dear,
I, Snowdrop, your tooth fairy, do appear,
To celebrate your missing tooth so white,
With a sprinkle of stardust, pure and bright.

Oh, Lucy, as you lay in slumber's keep,
Your tooth I gently took, while you were deep,
In dreams of castles and faraway lands,
I left a token in your tiny hands.

A glimmering coin, a silver gleam,
A precious gift, a fairytale's sweet dream,
To thank you for the tooth you shared with grace,
And make your dreams a brighter, magic place.

With wings of gossamer, I softly fly,
To every child whose tooth takes to the sky,
But you, dear Lucy, hold a special place,
In Snowdrop's heart, a smile upon your face.

For every tooth I gather in the night,
Is a testament to childhood's wondrous light,
And you, dear Lucy, shine like morning's dawn,
A treasure in the night, a magical fawn.

So sleep, dear child, in dreams so soft and deep,
With Snowdrop's blessings, may you always keep,
The joy of innocence and dreams so wide,
As you journey through life's enchanting ride.

Know that I'll be here, in starry disguise,
To visit you each time a tooth takes flight,
To weave enchantment in the quiet night,
For you, dear Lucy, in the soft moonlight.

[Leaf]

Fliss, I'm tired too and well behind on my critting. I'll catch up later in the week hopefully. This poem and it's deadline has turned out to be a time sap. I've had a go at making it look more like a letter, rejigged the opening two lines and I've gone for an easy to translate museum title. The previous milk tooth museum didn't can too well. The neat sign off requested works best if xx is read as kiss-kiss but I'm not sure if I can rely on that?

Sorry I didn't see this yesterday evening, Morph. We had a bit of an issue here with arranging care for this morning in the absence of my usual carer. I expect you've submitted the poem by now, so W.-B. and I wish you well with it (^v^)

[Lia]

Hi Morpheus,

Like Fliss, I suspect that you're in the middle of submitting it so good luck. I can't see why it wouldn't do well. I also understand about the US ear and the reasoning behind what you've done with the poem.

Tooth fairy letters have been a tradition in my family, too. I had 'Flower Fairies of the Wayside' when I was little, but I don't know what happened to it. Mrs Malcolm Mason wrote children's poetry and stories, but never illustrated (as far as I know). Her House in the Clouds was published in 1928 and I still have the book thankfully. I'm taking a trip to Suffolk next year to see the House in the Clouds (where she lived) for the first time. I've also just found out that some of my ancestors might've been buried at Saxmundham... and then there's Sutton Hoo, so it's going to be quite a trip!

It's main useful purpose as far as I can see it is interpreting opaque poems or poems of any kind by paraphrasing, lavishing praise by critique or summarising long books into short poems.

I can see why you're interested in it. I'm sure it's fun to play around with what the AI can do. The example you've just put up is okay, but it's sickly sweet, lacks freshness and goes on and on without a thought for the audience. There's also some areas of dodgy timing! Attempting a poem is one thing, but poetry is something else entirely, isn't it? The other danger, of course, is plagiarism. A strange kind. After all, if I were to instruct it to write a poem, the poem wouldn't be mine. Nonetheless, I'd be very curious to see how it would interpret a couple of Ted Hughes's 'crow' poems.

Lia

[Morpheus]

Fliss and Lia, thanks for dropping in again.

I'm not too concerned about plagiarism Lia because I've not submitted any AI poetry anywhere and, besides, it's only as good as the ideas you give it and then you have to spend almost as much time ironing out the problems with it's clumsy rhyme and metre as you might do writing your own poem. This isn't a competition but I'm fairly confident I've beaten AI hands down in this instance.

But I recognise that for people who cannot write or need a lot of help writing poetry this is a way in and we, the poetry community, should encourage anything that gets more people on board in my view. Unlike Chess I can't see AI eclipsing humans on the arts.

Here's a review of The Crow Falls,

"The Crows Fall" by Ted Hughes is a short and enigmatic poem that can be interpreted in various ways, but it's often seen as an allegorical or symbolic piece. Here's one possible interpretation:

The poem appears to depict a symbolic battle between Crow, a recurring character in Ted Hughes' poetry, and the sun. Crow, initially white, finds the sun's brilliance too intense and decides to challenge it. He prepares himself for the confrontation, building up his strength and determination.

As Crow launches his attack on the sun, there is a dramatic shift in the environment. Trees age instantly, and shadows lose their depth, suggesting the immense power of Crow's rage and his ability to disrupt the natural order.

However, despite Crow's efforts, the sun remains resilient. It not only withstands Crow's attack but also becomes even brighter. Crow, in the process, is defeated and turns "charred black." His vocalization, normally powerful and expressive, is reduced to a charred and incoherent state.

The closing lines, "Where white is black and black is white, I won," are paradoxical. They suggest that in the process of trying to defeat the sun, Crow has achieved a kind of victory, albeit one that has left him transformed and perhaps disillusioned.

Interpreting the poem can be open to individual perspectives, but it can be seen as an exploration of the human (or crow's) tendency to challenge or rebel against overpowering forces, even when such efforts might ultimately prove futile. It's a reflection on the complexities of power, resistance, and transformation, told through symbolic and enigmatic language.

[Lia]

"I'm not too concerned about plagiarism Lia"

Yes of course, Morpheus. I was simply wrestling with my own viewpoint on AI poems as I was completely unaware that such things existed until now.

Another way into poetry for people who have difficulty writing it or understanding it, would be to encourage reading, thinking, and learning how to express themselves, and the world around them, through words. Starting young is very useful, too. Whether AI would hinder this process, I don't know, but I can see that it's fairly useful when it comes to interpretation. The example you put up of 'Crow's Fall' was interesting. Thank you for doing it. The AI didn't pick up on the fable aspect of how crow became black, or the the struggle with Christianity, but it did mention something about human nature and rebelling against overpowering forces.

It's a curious thing, this AI bot.

Lia