Small Scale

[ray miller]

Up there a helicopter herds cows to safety
while the hills are doused by tiny firefighters;
down here I pour boiling water on an ants’ nest
and scan the rivulets to slaughter survivors.

[Macavity]

Vivid Ray. The compression and contrast very much to my taste. Not sure about bathed, the more ordinary would be effective eg doused/drenched.

Phil

[Lia]

An extraordinary poem, Ray. It's beautifully crafted... the entire concept and the focus of it. I like Phil's suggestion of 'doused.' I hear that inner rhyme with 'cows' which is very nice, too. I don't know if you send your work out, but it would be worth doing for this.

[CalebPerry]

I don't mind the word "bathed". In fact, I may prefer it.

What "rivulets" are you talking about? I've never poured water on an ant colony, so I don't know what happens.

[ray miller]

Thanks for the comments.
Phil, doused is a good suggestion, ta.
Lia, this isn't a poem I'd have considered "sending out", mostly because it's so brief, but perhaps I will.
Caleb, well, there's nothing very special happens when you pour boiling water on an ants' nest. Unless you're an ant. Most ants perish pretty quick but some escape the initial blast and can be seen scurrying off amongst the rivulets. It's tempting but I'm going to avoid any war analogies.

[camus]

Intriguing poem Ray, loving the imagery. There seems to be a life and death thing going on? Someone playing God? A microcosm vibe?

I'm not getting it fully though!

Cheers
Kris

[ray miller]

Thanks, Kris. It's kind of about context, I suppose and, improbably, the life of retirement. Sometimes I miss not being a "public servant" anymore.

[capricorn]

Up there a helicopter herds cows to safety
while the hills are doused by tiny firefighters;
down here I pour boiling water on an ants’ nest
and scan the rivulets to slaughter survivors.

Although short, this poem is very thought provoking, Ray. I would certainly send it off somewhere, many editors like short pieces.
Eira

[Firebird]

Excellent Ray. Like it a lot. Two great images that work well together. The short form suits the topic well, too.

Enjoyed.

Cheers,

Tristan

[ray miller]

Thanks both. It did get published in the Ink Pantry.