Day Without A Date

[ray miller]

There’s a one-way system on the beach,
which even those kites, untrue to the wind,
are observing. No ball games allowed,
no dogs allowed. An invisible moon
holds the sea on a string, the sun bobs in
and out of the clouds; we follow the arrows
and claim our domain with plastic sandals
and coloured towels, sandcastles safe
from foreign feet, a boon of social distancing.

Only the seagulls threaten our lines,
their war cries are backed by the drone
of the waves, swaggering up, ready to swoop
on a sausage roll or a nappy full of faeces.
Like recalcitrant lockdown protestors,
they wheel and wail in mockery of masked faces.
A group of young girls take off their tops
and race down into the ocean to swim.
Behind their backs two ships appear to kiss.

[NotQuiteSure]

Hi ray,
enjoyed the postcard - the invisible moon holding the sea on a string in particular, and the enjambment on in - but was left wanting to know just what the 'one-way system' meant/looked like.

Wasn't sure about a few word choices, domain and faeces (seemed to come from a different lexicon to the rest, and full implies ... well, full ) and foreign (was interestingly aggressive).

Had to double check that swaggering referred to the seagulls, not the waves. How could drones swagger, right?

Not sure about in mockery of (maybe 'mocking our masked faces'?)

In the final line, have the girls reached the sea and so are facing the shore, hence the ships are behind their backs? If they're swimming their backs are either towards the sky or the seabed, so ... ?


Regards, Not

.

[Macavity]

a boon of social distancing.

Indeed! Like the kites/wind thought and An invisible moon/holds the sea on a string,.

cheers

mac

[pomespennyeach]

This is an interesting mix of the eternal and the present tense (e.g. the Covid precautions).

My two gripes: I don't think of the sea as "droning". Somehow that seems insulting to that lovely sound, even if it does become monotonous after a while. Second is that 'nappy full of faeces". That seems a bit too much and I'm not easily repelled. (Maybe I've seen too many myself in public recreation areas and that's follwed me here.)

Last three lines are absolutely gorgeous, as are all the non-"Covid restriction" related lines. The Covid lines (if you'll permit me some shorthand here) are necessary though. They guide us through the poem, like those arrows on the beach.

PPE

[Jackie]

Hi Ray

Feels like I'm there on the beach. I would have loved it to be the waves that swaggered down on the sausage rolls and feces but since you go on to talk about the seagulls I think you're keeping the birds as the subject; how about dropping the word "are" from "their war cries are backed by the drone"?

My own confusion came from understanding "kites" as birds as well, but since the seagulls take over perhaps they're the other kind of kites...

I think I'll stop there as I seem to be heading for left field on my interpretations these days. But I very much enjoyed this trip to a COVID beach.

Jackie

[Amadis]

A nice slice of life and place in time.
I enjoyed the reading of this one.

I too was confused by the ships being at the backs of the women in the water.

Behind their backs two ships appear to kiss.

Perhaps: "Beyond their silhouette two ships appear to kiss."

The pointlessness of the situation comes through subtly enough.
(We are all gonna get nappy disease spread by sea-gulls

[ray miller]

Thanks for the comments. The beach is in Portugal, but I think one way beaches are/were common in this country. There are corridors, created by posts and string, and arrows to guide you in and out.
I see the seagulls and the waves swaggering.
In the final line, from where I look I see the backs of the girls and behind their backs are the ships.
I think the sea can make many noises, droning being one of them.
Yes, Jackie, "their war cries backed..." is better.