Sometimes with haiku...

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
Post Reply
cameron
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 2162
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 6:45 pm
antispam: no
Location: Norfolk 'n' Good

Fri Feb 19, 2021 5:25 pm

Sometimes with haiku
We discover that less is
Actually less.
"And I meet full face on dark mornings
The bestial visor, bent in
By the blows of what happened to happen."

Larkin
User avatar
Firebird
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3073
Joined: Tue May 21, 2013 9:46 pm

Fri Feb 19, 2021 5:36 pm

Yes, it certainly is. And I suppose your point is here that it is with this haiku.

Very droll.

Enjoyed.

Cheers,

Tristan
cameron
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 2162
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 6:45 pm
antispam: no
Location: Norfolk 'n' Good

Sat Feb 20, 2021 9:29 am

Thanks for responding Tristan. Yes, Twitter is awash with haiku at the moment and many are lacklustre to say the least. This is another playful piece and does, hopefully, leave the reader a little deflated to make a point.
I love haiku so like to see good ones. And also correct syllables.
Cheers
Cam
"And I meet full face on dark mornings
The bestial visor, bent in
By the blows of what happened to happen."

Larkin
User avatar
Firebird
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3073
Joined: Tue May 21, 2013 9:46 pm

Sat Feb 20, 2021 10:55 am

And also correct syllables.
I’m disappointed to hear that. As I don’t believe the 5/7/5 form adds anything to haikus written in English. The Haiku Society of America (https://www.hsa-haiku.org/) has almost abandoned it completely, and if you read most of the modern translations of Basho/Issa they do not follow this form either.


All the time I pray to Buddha
I keep on
killing mosquitoes.

BY KOBAYASHI ISSA

TRANSLATED BY ROBERT HASS

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/kobayashi-issa


Cheers,

Tristan
Post Reply