The New Amazons
Some of them actually look like women,
though most of them can’t pull it off.
I do admire their courage to risk ridicule.
For the rest of us, years of laughing at
comedians in wigs, pearls and frocks must be
forgotten, for the law says we must
take them seriously.
So many musts.
We must accept them as real for what
they think they are. We must let them tell
us who we are, for they are experts on
everything surreal. We must speak about
them only in words they specify.
Women must welcome them into their games,
live with them in shelters, prisons, dorms;
appreciate their naked bodies when they bathe.
Children must accept them as their guides.
This is the New Order, a world in which
every impossible thing is true. Blue is pink
and pink is blue. No one is who she seems to be.
Should you decide to disagree, take care.
The beast’s army is ready to engage you,
to slap you down, cancel, crush and shame you.
The truth is on your side, but may not save you.
~end~
Posting this poem on PoetBay got me suspended. We'll see what happens here.
I don't dislike transgender women personally, but transgender ideology is a nightmare of self-serving inconsistencies, and that's mainly what I am directing my ire to. Cancel culture is also something I hate, and cancel culture is very much aligned with trans people. I decided to focus on trans women in this poem because focussing on both genders made the poem less concise.
The New Amazons
- CalebPerry
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Last edited by CalebPerry on Sat Jul 24, 2021 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
- CalebPerry
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- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
Good point, Mac. I'll think about that.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
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- Persistent Poster
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- Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2021 3:55 pm
Good day Caleb. This is not hate speech, but an argument.CalebPerry wrote: ↑Sat Jul 24, 2021 1:45 amThe New Amazons
Some of them actually look like women,
though most of them can’t pull it off.
I do admire their courage to risk ridicule.
For the rest of us, years of laughing at
comedians in wigs, pearls and frocks must be
forgotten, for the law says we must
take them seriously.
So many musts.
We must accept them as real for what
they think they are. We must let them tell
us who we are, for they are experts on
everything surreal. We must speak about
them only in words they specify.
Women must welcome them into their games,
live with them in shelters, prisons, dorms;
appreciate their naked bodies when they bathe.
Children must accept them as their guides.
This is the New Order, a world in which
every impossible thing is true. Blue is pink
and pink is blue. No one is who she seems to be.
Should you decide to disagree, take care.
The beast’s army is ready to engage you,
to slap you down, cancel, crush and shame you.
The truth is on your side, but may not save you.
~end~
I'm still getting the hang of how to annotate on this site. The underlined portions are suggested cuts.
"Beast's army" does cross a line I think.
I agree with Mac on the "them" issue, but it didn't stop me from wanting to keep reading.
PPE
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One more thought on this one: intersperse your argument with responses from their viewpoint.
- CalebPerry
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- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
PPE, thank you for your suggestions. With all that stuff removed, the poem still reads pretty well, so I may keep some of your suggestions. "Blue is pink and pink is blue" is my favorite line in the poem, so that will be staying. I'll keep working on it. The poem has a rough IP meter, so that will factor into it.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.