A couple of Haiku

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Firebird
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Sat Feb 20, 2021 3:26 pm

Haiku

the dry patch
where your car was
disappears


Haiku

I stop
touch typing
and the rain continues.


Haiku

The leaves
have left this tree
full of apples.
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Jackie
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Sun Feb 21, 2021 4:13 pm

Tristan, to me these are so powerful!
Each one ties together two events that happen nearby. Is it the poet who connects them, or the universe?
Together they seem to tell a story of a parting and the emotion that abides.
Thank you for posting them,
Jackie
Macavity
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Sun Feb 21, 2021 5:58 pm

Especially love the second one Tristan. Produced a sort of yep moment in my head.
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Firebird
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Sun Feb 21, 2021 6:50 pm

Hi Jackie,

Really pleased you like them. I’d not considered them as a series, but now you mention it they do have certain links - it wasn’t this poet’s intention though. I placed them together at random. Many thanks for pointing out the possible thematic link.

Hi Mac,

First off, good to see you on the new site. I saw that Magpie Jane was around earlier today - a real blast from the past and a talented poet too. Really pleased you like the middle one. I think that’s the one I wrote most recently.

Looking forward to reading/commenting on one of your poems.

Cheers both,

Tristan
jcnash
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Sun Feb 21, 2021 6:54 pm

Really love these, Tristan. I've always enjoyed reading Japanese forms but never really had a proper go at writing them. You and Cam have inspired me though and I've been writing a daily Haiku as a sort of diary of my daily walks. So, cheers for that!
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Firebird
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Sun Feb 21, 2021 9:39 pm

Really pleased you like them JC. I look forward to seeing some of the haiku you have written from your walks. I think that observations on walks often make great material for Haiku.

Cheers,

Tristan
ray miller
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Mon Feb 22, 2021 9:14 am

I don't mind a bit that these haikus don't follow the customary rules, 17 syllables etc, but when " a couple" is actually is actually 3 I think it's time to be writing a letter of protest to my MP. Maybe disappeared instead of disappears?
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
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Firebird
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Mon Feb 22, 2021 9:24 am

Thanks for popping by Ray. Glad your objection is to the number of haiku and not the number of syllables :D .

Cheers,

Tristan
NotQuiteSure
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Mon Feb 22, 2021 3:01 pm

.
Hi Tristan,
just wondered whether it should be 'blossom' or 'petals' (rather than 'leaves') in #3?

Regards, Not

.
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Firebird
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Mon Feb 22, 2021 4:28 pm

NotQuiteSure wrote:
Mon Feb 22, 2021 3:01 pm
.
Hi Tristan,
just wondered whether it should be 'blossom' or 'petals' (rather than 'leaves') in #3?

Regards, Not

.
Hi Not,

Thanks for popping by. I actually saw this tree full of apples having just lost its leaves and was very struck by it - somehow its emptiness but also its fullness. It was in late Autumn last year. The only time I think this could happen. The apples were so much easier to see than when they were in amongst the leaves. It was a strange moment.

I don’t think there is any ‘should’ though about it in this context. Blossom/petals would make for another interesting haiku, suggesting something quite different to this one.

Cheers,

Tristan
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