Dwelling in the Mountains
Opening the window, I watch a man walking by,
Down the path vanishing in the mountains green.
Closing the window, I chew slowly the tea leaves
And then lie in bed dreaming.
Having chosen an idle life,
How fresh I feel!
The fragrance of strawberries wafts
In the room and the cicada-like song
Of an old man who sells Tofu.
I will not go any further.
Strolling back from the fields full of soybeans at night,
Cloaked in dewdrops and moonlight,
I push open the door.
.
Dwelling in the Mountains--Zhu Xinkui
-
twoleftfeet
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 6761
- Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
- Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up
Lake,
Another beautiful poem.
I think you could play around with it, especially with the word order.
This is just a "for instance" -
Opening the window, I watch a man walking by,
Down the mountain path vanishing in green.
Closing the window, I chew the tea leaves slowly
And then lie in bed dreaming.
Having chosen an idle life,
How fresh I feel!
The fragrance of strawberries ,
and the cicada-like song
Of an old man who sells Tofu,
waft into the room.
I will not go any further.
Strolling back at night from the fields full of soybeans ,
Cloaked in dewdrops and moonlight,
I push open the door.
I am wondering about IDLE - for me it can have unpleasnat connotations such as laziness. If that is not intended, then
perhaps you could use SIMPLE or PEACEFUL, something like it?
I am really enjoying these - keep posting!
Geoff
Another beautiful poem.
I think you could play around with it, especially with the word order.
This is just a "for instance" -
Opening the window, I watch a man walking by,
Down the mountain path vanishing in green.
Closing the window, I chew the tea leaves slowly
And then lie in bed dreaming.
Having chosen an idle life,
How fresh I feel!
The fragrance of strawberries ,
and the cicada-like song
Of an old man who sells Tofu,
waft into the room.
I will not go any further.
Strolling back at night from the fields full of soybeans ,
Cloaked in dewdrops and moonlight,
I push open the door.
I am wondering about IDLE - for me it can have unpleasnat connotations such as laziness. If that is not intended, then
perhaps you could use SIMPLE or PEACEFUL, something like it?
I am really enjoying these - keep posting!
Geoff
Geoff,
I like your "play around with the word order", which helps the translation flow more smoothly and convey the meaning more clearly. I especially like your revision of these lines:
For the word "idle", I mulled over it for quite a while and still was not quite sure. I need to ask the poet himself. But thank you for letting me know the connotation part, and your suggestions.
Thanks again for your input. Much appreciation!
Lake
I like your "play around with the word order", which helps the translation flow more smoothly and convey the meaning more clearly. I especially like your revision of these lines:
Sometimes, a small change can make a big difference.Down the mountain path vanishing in green.
The fragrance of strawberries ,
and the cicada-like song
Of an old man who sells Tofu,
waft into the room.
For the word "idle", I mulled over it for quite a while and still was not quite sure. I need to ask the poet himself. But thank you for letting me know the connotation part, and your suggestions.
Thanks again for your input. Much appreciation!
Lake
A suggestion for these lines -Strolling back from the fields full of soybeans at night,
Cloaked in dewdrops and moonlight,
I push open the door.
Strolling back from the soybean fields,
cloaked in night's dewdrops and moonlight,
I push open the door.
Just a thought
Barrie