(Since not many people read the Chinese character, I will just simply post my translation here for others to critique. Thanks.)
Pagoda
My bones and muscles made of stone
nine stories tall aloft a mountain top
I play, touching rosy clouds
and look down on the world of mortals rolling on
For a thousand years have I remained silent
Solid inside, I have no doors
nor stairways for visitors, who
are forbidden to climb upon my head
overwhelmed with their success
Look up at me with respect!
I love tired birds all over me
perching and singing merrily to the sky
even with their white droppings
But, weary I am in body and mind
for I have endured wind and rain for centuries
From the many vicissitudes of life
I have lost patience to wait
on a stormy night at my own will
I descend from my soaring height
to return to the earth and nature
.
Pagoda 塔--He Jun
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cameron
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This is very nice Lake: a self-destructive talking building.
I've always been very fond of translations of Chinese poetry: stark simplicity, but with nuggets of beauty.
"on a stormy night at my own will
I descend from my soaring height
to return to the earth and nature "
Great ending.
Keep them coming.
Cam
I've always been very fond of translations of Chinese poetry: stark simplicity, but with nuggets of beauty.
"on a stormy night at my own will
I descend from my soaring height
to return to the earth and nature "
Great ending.
Keep them coming.
Cam
"And I meet full face on dark mornings
The bestial visor, bent in
By the blows of what happened to happen."
Larkin
The bestial visor, bent in
By the blows of what happened to happen."
Larkin
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twoleftfeet
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 6761
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- Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up
Beautifully done, Lake.
I have only 1 minor suggestions to do with grammar:
Solid inside, I have no doors
nor stairways for visitors, who
- forbidden to climb upon my head,
overwhelmed with their success -
Look up at me with respect!
- I have removed "are" to make it clear (to me) that they are looking up because they can't climb up.
Just a suggestion.....
Geoff
I have only 1 minor suggestions to do with grammar:
Solid inside, I have no doors
nor stairways for visitors, who
- forbidden to climb upon my head,
overwhelmed with their success -
Look up at me with respect!
- I have removed "are" to make it clear (to me) that they are looking up because they can't climb up.
Just a suggestion.....
Geoff
Thank you, Geoff!twoleftfeet wrote:Beautifully done, Lake.
I have only 1 minor suggestions to do with grammar:
Solid inside, I have no doors
nor stairways for visitors, who
- forbidden to climb upon my head,
overwhelmed with their success -
Look up at me with respect!
- I have removed "are" to make it clear (to me) that they are looking up because they can't climb up.
Just a suggestion.....
Geoff
It is a very good suggestion. Sometimes, it is not easy to step back from your translation. I do need others to scrutinize the fina draft. I will have it corrected in my copy.
Many thanks!
Lake