W

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Post Reply
ton321
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 715
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2014 12:54 am

Sun Jan 07, 2024 1:19 am

M
Last edited by ton321 on Thu Mar 28, 2024 2:11 am, edited 2 times in total.
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
jisbell00
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5608
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 4:53 am

Sun Jan 07, 2024 3:00 am

Hi Tony,

Nice title, though I'd leave out the once.

Nice poem too, it does its job.

Cheers,
John
David
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 13973
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin

Wed Jan 10, 2024 6:00 pm

Hi Tony,

It must be my electronic ignorance, but I'm not sure what the 32 and the 64 are.

Very nice last line.

Should be "no one knew"?

Cheers

David
Post Reply