She always laughed when someone died.

[ton321]

My friends sister, did that he said.
When Farrimond had a heart attack,

look he said, as we walked up to her
he’s dead, he said, and I swear to God

she chuckled beneath her breath.
Funny, this thing called death.

[jisbell00]

Hi Tony,

Another of your strange and unexpected observations. I think it has weight; it is succinct and crisp. OTOH, I'm not sure the last line does more than say abstractly what the poem has already said more arrestingly.

Cheers,
John

[ton321]

Thanks John

I just couldn't resist the urge to rhyme breath , and death. And also a pun.
It's a bit mork and mindy ending thou. I agree.



Tony

[Macavity]

I like the dark humour. The formality of funerals, and the hypocrisy, came to mind. chuckled is great.

[CalebPerry]

"friends" in the first line should be "friend's", right?

I just want to say that words ending with a short "e" and an "f" sound make pretty good off-rhymes with breath/death. "Left", for example.

[ton321]

Thanks Mac, Caleb for the comments.

Tony

[CalebPerry]

I've now read the poem a few times, and I have come to like it. I can't say why. Perhaps it's that rhyme at the end. At first, the poem didn't strike me as substantial enough to stand as it is, but now it does.

But please put that apostrophe in "friends".

[ton321]

Thanks Caleb

Farrimond was my English teacher, and he died of a heart attack, at the age of 35. Eveyone loved him and so did I

Tony

[ton321]

It was my friends sister. He observed that fact, he told me, she reacted as expected...slam dunk

or not

Tony