Furrow and Negation
Out of dark soil
grows the excellent seed.
Nobody can touch
the pristine architecture
it greets the Earth with.
Nobody.
Possibly a day will come
for its demise.
Not today.
Not in this generation.
Furrow and Negation
Greetings, John,
We just have time for a little comment this evening, before snackage and bed. This seems to be a pocket poem much in favour of the seed, hooray. We wonder about 'Out of'; might the seed grow 'Within'? Sorry if we've misunderstood! '[T]he pristine architecture' is a surprise and a delight. We might prefer 'with which it greets the Earth', but that is up to you. We're glad the seed seems hardy and friendly (viz. 'greets the Earth') also (^v^)
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
We just have time for a little comment this evening, before snackage and bed. This seems to be a pocket poem much in favour of the seed, hooray. We wonder about 'Out of'; might the seed grow 'Within'? Sorry if we've misunderstood! '[T]he pristine architecture' is a surprise and a delight. We might prefer 'with which it greets the Earth', but that is up to you. We're glad the seed seems hardy and friendly (viz. 'greets the Earth') also (^v^)
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
Greetings, Fliss and Coo!
Yes indeed, a pocket poem much in faovr of the seed! It just came out this way. The seed might grow within, but I want to focus on its emergence from the soil, that epiphanic moment, if that makes sense. Glad you liked the pristine architecture! And i agree, with which is better grammar, but I like the rhythm of what I have. Yup, this seed is going to do fine, i suspect. it is certainly starting off well.
Oh - negation is of course to be avoided. Plenty of negators in the world.
Cheerie,
John
Yes indeed, a pocket poem much in faovr of the seed! It just came out this way. The seed might grow within, but I want to focus on its emergence from the soil, that epiphanic moment, if that makes sense. Glad you liked the pristine architecture! And i agree, with which is better grammar, but I like the rhythm of what I have. Yup, this seed is going to do fine, i suspect. it is certainly starting off well.
Oh - negation is of course to be avoided. Plenty of negators in the world.
Cheerie,
John
