Doppelgänger

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Post Reply
jisbell00
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5619
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 4:53 am

Sun Aug 13, 2023 9:36 am

Doppelgänger


At first, you notice little things – a coat
left careless on the couch, a cup of tea
half-drunk when you had made yourself no tea.

And gradually, these things acquire a weight
that lifts them from the mundane – when a mate
regrets a talk you never had, your aunt

remarks on Tuesday’s visit, or your wife
describes your trip to Denver. People can’t
tell you apart. How might you claim your life

back from this shadow? As you lose the sun
in grief, the web that held you melts away
until there’s nothing left. The doppelgänger

has occupied the king file and your day
plays out around its edges. He has won
this game. You didn’t know it had begun.
User avatar
Leaf
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2549
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2021 8:42 am

Sun Aug 13, 2023 12:40 pm

Slurrrp... slurrrp.... the sound of Coo locating and drinking the discarded tea (^v^)

This is an intriguing one, John. We wonder whether 'careless' ought to be 'carelessly', unless it's the posture of the coat itself that is being described. The notion of the Doppelgänger is interesting and plays out well throughout. We need to think about S5, as we don't quite understand it yet. The king file appeals, though; we think of moves in chess.

Pawn to King 4, Coo begins a game (^v^)

Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
jisbell00
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5619
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 4:53 am

Sun Aug 13, 2023 4:15 pm

Aha! Good to have that tea put to use.

I'm using careless as a transferred epithet - the sleepy pillow. Yup, these are curious creatures, doppelgaengers - my idea in S5 is that the n's life has become a chess game of which he was unaware. Occupying the king file is a power play, as in your first move!

N to KB6!

Cheerie,
John
User avatar
Leaf
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2549
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2021 8:42 am

Sun Aug 13, 2023 6:37 pm

Om-nom-nom-nom-nom... (^o^) (Coo has found half a cookie, and is eating with gusto)

Ooh, transferred epithet, very pleasant. Apologies; it's S4 we're not sure of, viz. losing the sun, unless that ties in with the shadow. We'll continue to ponder...

N to QB3 🐎

Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
jisbell00
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5619
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 4:53 am

Sun Aug 13, 2023 7:32 pm

With gusto is the only way to eat!

Yes, S4 - I think I got to the sun from the shadow, which robs us of it. It's the sun shining on the N's life that is taken from him.

P - K5! Though as I recall, I just flip the board and say P-K4 in turn...

Cheerie,
John
Post Reply