The Rest.

[ton321]

an empty car park
dusted with snow

at new years eve

before the guests arrive.

[Macavity]

an empty car park
dusted with snow

at new years eve

before the guests arrive

Really like the 'guests' and image. You could call the poem 'the rest', but understand you have a more personal intention.

[jisbell00]

Hi Ton,

I too think you could call the poem The Rest and remove those two words from the text body, which I like a good deal. If you keep your current title, how about illusory? Unless you have a particular reason for the coinage illusionary.

Cheers,
John

[camus]

Nicely captured and thought provoking for such a wee poem, hence would sit well with the plum poems of this world!

I agree with previous remarks regarding the title, is "Only happiness" illusionary? Not sure that would stand up to argument? Something simpler is probably required and let the the reader do some pondering...

Cheers
Kris

[ton321]

Thanks Mac, John, Kris for your comments

I completely forgot about this piece I wrote. You must think I'm so rude.

T

[ton321]

an empty car park
dusted with snow

at new years eve

before the guests arrive.

[jisbell00]

Very nice! I like the emptiness of the piece.

CHeers,
John

[ton321]

Thanks John

I love haiku and all those dense little droplets of poems. I think there was a chain-haiku thread on this forum at one point. Wouldn't mind seeing it happen again,

T

[jisbell00]

Hi Ton,

Dense little droplets - nicely put!

The Haiku Train is still going, in Beginners, just a little dormant. You can dig it out any time!

Cheers,
John

[David]

A bit of a red wheelbarrow vibe to this? It does have a sort of haiku feel to it, too. Starting from what you've given us here, the possibilities seem endless. What might happen? What is significant? Quite an achievement, for a few brief lines.

Cheers

David

[Ryder]

Seems we've all been there