A Thing or Two about Love
All love is love for God, is Dante’s theory
in his Commedia. This morning, Jim
asks, Who believes in true love? Every hand
goes up. And then he says the troubadours
came up with that one. It is better to
have loved and lost, they also say. For all
the chitchat, still the heart has wings. Upon
Queen Mary’s heart was the word Calais, since
she lost that town, I’ve said this. The café
I write in has its ebb and flow – a glance
is traded, a word given. This is how
we live our lives, and it is love. If God
observes our world, I’d bet He is content
to see the handshake and the smile, to hear
the cat purr on the lap. “A Thing or Two
about Love” could contain those things, they’re not
uninteresting. All the way from youth
the proffered hand comes – the heart breaks. It is
the air we breathe. A thing or two I’ve lost
will not outweigh my green heart. It will lift
to see you in the doorway, my beloved,
to hear your voice. And this is hardly new,
but it bears telling. If the love for God
is just this feeling, then I’m glad of it.
A Thing or Two about Love
There is a rustling sound; members of the Coo-mmunity peep through the bushes, beaks appearing to sniff the breeze. Finding it fragrant, they emerge and provide a few words for John, as he has been kind enough to assist with their own poetry lately, in Poetry Park (^v^)
We like the title. We have some knowledge of Dante, having read a reasonable amount of the Commedia for AF, last year. (^v^)
We wonder, who is Jim? Our preference would be Jim Robinson, of Neighbours, the Aussie soap. We suggest a comma after 'asks' and a capital 'W' for 'Who', just to tidy up, hooray. The troubadours are interesting, reminding us of our own troubadour's song (TER), which we might set to music soon. Now, 'loved and lost'; was that Tennyson, of Hallam? We apologise if memory doesn't serve. The reference to Queen Mary is interesting, yet unfamiliar such that we're not sure how it ties in with N's conversation with Jim, if indeed that's happening here. But the scene-setting seems pleasant enough, N conversing with folks about love in a homely eatery (^v^)
Now, we don't really know God ourselves, but it isn't a stretch to imagine the deity might approve of the conversation. We assume the hand belongs to the deity, but we're not sure why the heart breaks here. Ooh yes, fresh air, very pleasant. And green, why not. Has Rita turned up towards the end? We're just trying to figure out where we've ended up. We might return...
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
We like the title. We have some knowledge of Dante, having read a reasonable amount of the Commedia for AF, last year. (^v^)
We wonder, who is Jim? Our preference would be Jim Robinson, of Neighbours, the Aussie soap. We suggest a comma after 'asks' and a capital 'W' for 'Who', just to tidy up, hooray. The troubadours are interesting, reminding us of our own troubadour's song (TER), which we might set to music soon. Now, 'loved and lost'; was that Tennyson, of Hallam? We apologise if memory doesn't serve. The reference to Queen Mary is interesting, yet unfamiliar such that we're not sure how it ties in with N's conversation with Jim, if indeed that's happening here. But the scene-setting seems pleasant enough, N conversing with folks about love in a homely eatery (^v^)
Now, we don't really know God ourselves, but it isn't a stretch to imagine the deity might approve of the conversation. We assume the hand belongs to the deity, but we're not sure why the heart breaks here. Ooh yes, fresh air, very pleasant. And green, why not. Has Rita turned up towards the end? We're just trying to figure out where we've ended up. We might return...
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
Greetings, Fliss and Coo!
And welcome! I had thought there might be something to that rustling in the bushes, and indeed there was! Also, you are very welcome for my thoughts in Poetry Park.
I’m glad you like the title! I liked its simplicity, and like AF, I am very partial to Dante, so his appearance here is no surprise.
Jim is James Galvin, a decent poet who taught the MFA class at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop I attended. I think I can get away with just plain Jim here, since he seems to be teaching in the poem. Jim Robinson would be a splendid alternative Jim, of course. Thank you for the editing thoughts, and yes, loved and lost does sound like In Memoriam. I’d forgotten it was for Hallam, who is interesting in his own right. Queen Mary is she of bloody fame! She lost Calais to the French and the word, they say, was engraved on her heart. You are quite correct as to the scene, natch.
God. Well, there is a big subject. I agree with you completely, these things might appeal to him (or her, or it). The hand is really anybody’s hand in greeting – a sign of love in my book. And the heart is also anybody’s, since all have known that feeling. Also yes, Rita pops in near the end! To say hi.
Cheerie,
John
And welcome! I had thought there might be something to that rustling in the bushes, and indeed there was! Also, you are very welcome for my thoughts in Poetry Park.
I’m glad you like the title! I liked its simplicity, and like AF, I am very partial to Dante, so his appearance here is no surprise.
Jim is James Galvin, a decent poet who taught the MFA class at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop I attended. I think I can get away with just plain Jim here, since he seems to be teaching in the poem. Jim Robinson would be a splendid alternative Jim, of course. Thank you for the editing thoughts, and yes, loved and lost does sound like In Memoriam. I’d forgotten it was for Hallam, who is interesting in his own right. Queen Mary is she of bloody fame! She lost Calais to the French and the word, they say, was engraved on her heart. You are quite correct as to the scene, natch.
God. Well, there is a big subject. I agree with you completely, these things might appeal to him (or her, or it). The hand is really anybody’s hand in greeting – a sign of love in my book. And the heart is also anybody’s, since all have known that feeling. Also yes, Rita pops in near the end! To say hi.
Cheerie,
John
Greetings, John!
Ooh yes, rustle, rustle. I've never been able to visualise PAT as a particular type of place, though. Perhaps I could, if I recall 'Poets' Graves', reminiscent of a graveyard (^v^)
We're generally in favour of simplicity here. Thank-coos for the introduction to Jim. We liked Jim Robinson and were sad when he died due to a heart attack. The actor, Alan Dale, went on to do well in the US, however, such as in 24 and elsewhere. Hooray!
You are welcome for the editing thoughts. We'll have to take another look at Tennyson soon, likewise Queen Mary. She popped up recently in Wolf Hall, recommended to us by Bro. A., but is very young at that time in the Tudors' story.
God is big indeedy. Ooh, that is pleasant, anyhand, everyhand. Coo waves a wing. Greetings to Rita! Perhaps Coo Two is peeping out of her bag. It's time to finish our film soon, King of the Pagans. Everyone is on the way to Rome (*v*)
Cheerie,
Fliss & Coo (^v^)
Ooh yes, rustle, rustle. I've never been able to visualise PAT as a particular type of place, though. Perhaps I could, if I recall 'Poets' Graves', reminiscent of a graveyard (^v^)
We're generally in favour of simplicity here. Thank-coos for the introduction to Jim. We liked Jim Robinson and were sad when he died due to a heart attack. The actor, Alan Dale, went on to do well in the US, however, such as in 24 and elsewhere. Hooray!
You are welcome for the editing thoughts. We'll have to take another look at Tennyson soon, likewise Queen Mary. She popped up recently in Wolf Hall, recommended to us by Bro. A., but is very young at that time in the Tudors' story.
God is big indeedy. Ooh, that is pleasant, anyhand, everyhand. Coo waves a wing. Greetings to Rita! Perhaps Coo Two is peeping out of her bag. It's time to finish our film soon, King of the Pagans. Everyone is on the way to Rome (*v*)
Cheerie,
Fliss & Coo (^v^)
-
CalebPerry
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3069
- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
I like this poem, John. It says important things. However, that opening line is so powerful that I feel the poem that follows needs to be a little more concise and to the point.
You relate that broad statement back to a personal relationship, and that's good. But you could also have made this a shorter, more focussed poem.
The thing is, John, you write so many good poems with depth, that they almost become ordinary. I actually think if you wrote less, but worked harder on each poem, you might end up with a body of work which is, overall, greater, more remarkable.
"All love is love for God" could have come from the Seth Material, because everything in the universe is integrated with God.
You relate that broad statement back to a personal relationship, and that's good. But you could also have made this a shorter, more focussed poem.
The thing is, John, you write so many good poems with depth, that they almost become ordinary. I actually think if you wrote less, but worked harder on each poem, you might end up with a body of work which is, overall, greater, more remarkable.
"All love is love for God" could have come from the Seth Material, because everything in the universe is integrated with God.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
Greetings, Fliss and Coo, greetings, Caleb!
Fliss and Coo: I don’t go back to Poets’ graves days and feel I’ve missed out somewhat. But I do enjoy PAT, though things are a tad quiet at the moment.
I am sad to hear about Jim Robinson’s fatal heart attack, and pleased to hear the actor went on to several later roles. Hooray indeed!
It’s been al ong time since I’ve looked at much Tennyson, more’s the pity, and I am separated from my library for the duration. Queen Mary would indeed have been young during her father’s reign! Though the eldest child.
Anyhand and everyhand are splendid terms and deserve wider circulation. I wave a hand in Coo’s direction. It seems quite possible that Coo Tow is peeking out of her bag. Best of luck with your film and I do hope folks reach Rome safely. They might stop in and say hi to AF!
Caleb: I am very glad to hear you like this poem and find its topic important – thank you! It’s also good to hear the opening line stays with you, I enjoyed coining it and feel it is fairly true, not only to the Seth Material, but to Dante’s Commedia. The ensuing poem is very much one of my meander poems, as you have picked up. I appreciate you noting that I do some work tying it al ltogether in the end, and you are quite right, one might imagine a shorter, more focused poem here! But I quite like that meandering, it seems to me appropriate as we discuss the human condition, which is a meandering one. A thing or two about love, as I note.
You make a very interesting and useful point about how I produce quantity and might focus harder on quality. I often suspect that may be true, though I do endlessly repolish. I should perhaps put more thought into starting the poems rather than into finishing them. I’ve not done that, I mostly just pick up the pen and begin to write.
I am glad you like that opening line.
Cheers,
John
Fliss and Coo: I don’t go back to Poets’ graves days and feel I’ve missed out somewhat. But I do enjoy PAT, though things are a tad quiet at the moment.
I am sad to hear about Jim Robinson’s fatal heart attack, and pleased to hear the actor went on to several later roles. Hooray indeed!
It’s been al ong time since I’ve looked at much Tennyson, more’s the pity, and I am separated from my library for the duration. Queen Mary would indeed have been young during her father’s reign! Though the eldest child.
Anyhand and everyhand are splendid terms and deserve wider circulation. I wave a hand in Coo’s direction. It seems quite possible that Coo Tow is peeking out of her bag. Best of luck with your film and I do hope folks reach Rome safely. They might stop in and say hi to AF!
Caleb: I am very glad to hear you like this poem and find its topic important – thank you! It’s also good to hear the opening line stays with you, I enjoyed coining it and feel it is fairly true, not only to the Seth Material, but to Dante’s Commedia. The ensuing poem is very much one of my meander poems, as you have picked up. I appreciate you noting that I do some work tying it al ltogether in the end, and you are quite right, one might imagine a shorter, more focused poem here! But I quite like that meandering, it seems to me appropriate as we discuss the human condition, which is a meandering one. A thing or two about love, as I note.
You make a very interesting and useful point about how I produce quantity and might focus harder on quality. I often suspect that may be true, though I do endlessly repolish. I should perhaps put more thought into starting the poems rather than into finishing them. I’ve not done that, I mostly just pick up the pen and begin to write.
I am glad you like that opening line.
Cheers,
John
Greetings, John!
I think I joined PG in 2019 or so; I wasn't a regular poster, but I liked it. Things are a bit quiet here at the moment, but that might change at some stage (^v^)
Yes, it was a shame about Jim Robinson. The heart attack scene required the actor to cough a lot, clutch his upper arm, and fall over a chair. I was alarmed and saddened by this, I recall.
Coo and I haven't looked at Tennyson for a while either. We don't have a library here (you might recall), just a few shelves. We continue to enjoy watching history programmes, when the schedule permits.
Hooray! We're glad you enjoyed those terms. Coo might like to add 'anywing' and 'everywing'. We're pleased with the possibility of Coo Two's peeping. The folks didn't go to Rome after all; I think I might have slept through some of the film and made it up in my head. But they would have done well to visit AF, naturally (^v^)
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
I think I joined PG in 2019 or so; I wasn't a regular poster, but I liked it. Things are a bit quiet here at the moment, but that might change at some stage (^v^)
Yes, it was a shame about Jim Robinson. The heart attack scene required the actor to cough a lot, clutch his upper arm, and fall over a chair. I was alarmed and saddened by this, I recall.
Coo and I haven't looked at Tennyson for a while either. We don't have a library here (you might recall), just a few shelves. We continue to enjoy watching history programmes, when the schedule permits.
Hooray! We're glad you enjoyed those terms. Coo might like to add 'anywing' and 'everywing'. We're pleased with the possibility of Coo Two's peeping. The folks didn't go to Rome after all; I think I might have slept through some of the film and made it up in my head. But they would have done well to visit AF, naturally (^v^)
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
2019! Those were pre-pandemic days. Yes, things may well pick up here sometime down the road a tad.
I am sorry to hear about Jim Robinson, but it sounds like the actor worked hard at the part. I am sorry to hear of your alarm and sadness over this event.
I do remember your shelves, which are well populated. History programs are fine things. Oh - Tennyson like Byron went to my college!
ANywing and everywing are splendid additions to the English lexicon. Coo Tow in spirit is an active listener, I believe, when commenting is underway. It’s a pity the folks missed out on Rome, I feel certain that Af would have been happy to receive them.
Cheerie,
John
I am sorry to hear about Jim Robinson, but it sounds like the actor worked hard at the part. I am sorry to hear of your alarm and sadness over this event.
I do remember your shelves, which are well populated. History programs are fine things. Oh - Tennyson like Byron went to my college!
ANywing and everywing are splendid additions to the English lexicon. Coo Tow in spirit is an active listener, I believe, when commenting is underway. It’s a pity the folks missed out on Rome, I feel certain that Af would have been happy to receive them.
Cheerie,
John
(^v^)