6-plumes

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Leaf
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Sat Jun 11, 2022 9:26 pm

My friend William has brought my attention to another YouTube video, (^v^)

Here's my poem inspired by it. This turned out a bit longer than I'd expected, but I like the six stanzas in line with the six plumes of '6' :)


6-plumes

Though the dancefloor’s so dark,
6 can raise spark on spark
with his marvellously masculine moves:
got the podium prepped,
spick and span, all aswept;
now he’s good to get into his grooves!

See him lift up his wings
like a curtsy for kings,
stepping left–right and left again – yes!
Watch those plumes whip and whirl,
shake in circles and curl,
as he skips in his little black dress!

And his eyes are agleam,
bright and blue as a dream!
while he looks for a partner to play;
and his throat’s green and gold –
he’s a thrill to behold!
he can swing, he can swirl, he can sway!

But there’s no one about,
so he gives a sure shout –
and a female flies over and stares;
he is up on his perch,
with a loll and a lurch,
keen to show her his wonderful wares!

He makes suitable shapes,
and she startles and gapes
at his powers, his prowess, like Wow!
She needs time for a think,
so he gives her a wink
then, in case that was cheeky, a bow.

She just looks for a while,
maybe liking his style…?
No, she’s off, leaving 6 to himself
and the sun slowly sets
but he’s got no regrets;
for next day he’ll be back on his shelf!

(^v^)
Macavity
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Sun Jun 12, 2022 4:27 am

but he’s got no regrets;
for next day he’ll be back on his shelf!
Yes, perseverance Fliss! Mesmerising display, the female is so demanding, but perhaps he is truly in love...with his dancing :lol:
as he skips in his little black dress
His feminine side does seem to display...though that attention to keeping neat and tidy will surely be appreciated in future domestic bliss :D
at his powers, his prowess, like Wow!
She needs time for a think,
so he gives her a wink
then, in case that was cheeky, a bow.
Beautifully grounded Fliss, you have pitched the tone and language superbly. Great how you key into the fun. Lets not be down about rejection, but fly in the joy of nature :D

Lovely way to start my day

MacPhil :D
jisbell00
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Sun Jun 12, 2022 4:44 am

Hi Fliss,

What Phil said - this is lovely and fun, it has brio and panache. I feel bad for the male but am unsure he feels bad for himself, as you note!

Thank you for the link as well. :)

Cheers,
John
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Leaf
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Sun Jun 12, 2022 8:38 pm

Macavity wrote:
Sun Jun 12, 2022 4:27 am
but he’s got no regrets;
for next day he’ll be back on his shelf!
Yes, perseverance Fliss! Mesmerising display, the female is so demanding, but perhaps he is truly in love...with his dancing :lol:
as he skips in his little black dress
His feminine side does seem to display...though that attention to keeping neat and tidy will surely be appreciated in future domestic bliss :D
at his powers, his prowess, like Wow!
She needs time for a think,
so he gives her a wink
then, in case that was cheeky, a bow.
Beautifully grounded Fliss, you have pitched the tone and language superbly. Great how you key into the fun. Lets not be down about rejection, but fly in the joy of nature :D

Lovely way to start my day

MacPhil :D
Hooray! Ta muchly, MacPhil. I'm glad you enjoyed this one :D

I do like the idea of 6 being so into his dancing that it overtakes the need to breed! And he does look balletic in his dress, rather sweet really. Reading 'future domestic bliss', I had a vision of 6 wearing a little apron and pushing a mini-Hoover around. I'm pleased the tone and language seem right to you. Yes indeed, fly away, do a little dance, and so on. I think Mike Burch might like this one, possibly the puffer fish sonnet too. Thanks for the appreciation!

Best wishes,
Fliss
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Leaf
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Sun Jun 12, 2022 8:39 pm

jisbell00 wrote:
Sun Jun 12, 2022 4:44 am
Hi Fliss,

What Phil said - this is lovely and fun, it has brio and panache. I feel bad for the male but am unsure he feels bad for himself, as you note!

Thank you for the link as well. :)

Cheers,
John
Hi John,

Yay! I'm happy the poem finds favour with you too. I just have an inkling 6 has plenty of opportunities to meet ladies on his dance floor and podium, and at some point there'll be a match. And you're welcome for the link; I'm sure there are loads of animal behaviours clips on YouTube :)

Best wishes,
Fliss
jisbell00
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Sun Jun 12, 2022 9:42 pm

Hi FLiss,

He looks very impressive to me and I feel certain, as you are, that a winged companion will come his way.

Cheers,
John
ray miller
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Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:00 am

Very nice poem. I'd like to hear it read by David Attenborough. Favourite part -
She needs time for a think,
so he gives her a wink
then, in case that was cheeky, a bow.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
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Leaf
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Mon Jun 13, 2022 8:33 pm

jisbell00 wrote:
Sun Jun 12, 2022 9:42 pm
Hi FLiss,

He looks very impressive to me and I feel certain, as you are, that a winged companion will come his way.

Cheers,
John
Hi John,

He is impressive, yes! And determined, I think. Bird behaviour is fascinating, really (^v^)

Bw,
Fliss
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Leaf
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Mon Jun 13, 2022 8:34 pm

ray miller wrote:
Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:00 am
Very nice poem. I'd like to hear it read by David Attenborough. Favourite part -
She needs time for a think,
so he gives her a wink
then, in case that was cheeky, a bow.
Thanks, Ray; interesting you mention David Attenborough, as my older brother once suggested that for a couple of my swan poems. Thanks for picking your favourite part too; that was fun to write :)

Bw,
Fliss
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