The Queen said to the King:
“If you have nothing silly to say,
then I am going away.”
The King said to the Queen:
“I know not what you mean.”
Then turned away.
The court Jester, sensing trouble
waved arms at Royal couple,
then let out such a stinking rumble.
The King's nose collapsed,
the Queen's inhaled,
And so it was … so fabled.
That the King had a
new bride, because
The Kingdom was assailed.
Totally silly
Nice opening A.The Queen said to the King:
“If you have nothing silly to say,
then I am going away.”
The King said to the Queen:
“I know not what you mean.”
Then turned away.
Silliness is more interesting when the reader expectation is otherwise (the Jester was predictable). You could change the title to Henry Tudor
best
mac
What a funny little piece, inhaled and fabled don't rhyme if that was what you were going for. But yet assailed does. I also think you might have overdone it with the dialogue. Just my opinion.Amadis wrote: ↑Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:47 amThe Queen said to the King:
“If you have nothing silly to say,
then I am going away.”
The King said to the Queen:
“I know not what you mean.”
Then turned away.
The court Jester, sensing trouble
waved arms at Royal couple,
then let out such a stinking rumble.
The King's nose collapsed,
the Queen's inhaled,
And so it was … so fabled.
That the King had a
new bride, because
The Kingdom was assailed.