Fascination - was prev Negotiating Political Discourse

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Sid
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Tue Dec 24, 2019 3:28 am

V1

Lingering in thoughts from my imagination
stunned by the aroma of her scent
I stand on the precipice of hesitation

Struggling to overcome my fascination
Her beautiful image filling this moment
Lingering in thoughts from my imagination.

Awaiting the signal, an indication
eye contact, a gesture or movement,
I stand on the precipice of hesitation.

Frozen into the state of inaction
The psyche willing to be confident, I lament
lingering in thoughts from my imagination.

As I struggle with determination
Unable to muster a compliment
I stand on the precipice of hesitation
lingering in thoughts from my imagination.

Original

Lingering in thoughts from my imagination
evocative discourse with unlike minds
I stand on the precipice of hesitation

Awaiting the signal, a call to action
Holding heavy discussions in time,
Lingering in thoughts from my imagination.

Solving the mystery of elation
Ready for its rare secrets to find
I stand on the precipice of hesitation.

Superstitions held with dedication,
rarely in synchronicity align
Lingering in thoughts from my imagination.

The Truth suffers decapitation,
The Egos pay no mind,
I stand on the precipice of hesitation
lingering in thoughts from my imagination.
Last edited by Sid on Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Like the imprint left, an effect on your being - beautiful, wonderful, succinct.
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Poet
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Tue Dec 24, 2019 7:33 am

I thought this poem was rather dry, it had a lack of imagery and it was really narrative at times, I like the cadence which is what was going for it, but other than that, that was it. Thanks for sharing though.
MilesTugeau
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Tue Dec 24, 2019 8:49 pm

.
Last edited by MilesTugeau on Wed Jan 01, 2020 1:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sid
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Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:28 pm

Miles and Poet,

I agree I was playing with a format inspired by a poem here.

I have now rewritten to be a lost moment of desire. Still a bit clunky but matches the wording better in my opinion.
Like the imprint left, an effect on your being - beautiful, wonderful, succinct.
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