April 25th

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Luce
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Tue Apr 25, 2017 4:07 am

NaPoWriMo Prompt for April 25th:

In 1958, the philosopher/critic Gaston Bachelard wrote a book called The Poetics of Space, about the emotional relationship that people have with particular kinds of spaces – the insides of sea shells, drawers, nooks, and all the various parts of houses. Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a poem that explores a small, defined space – it could be your childhood bedroom, or the box where you keep old photos. It could be the inside of a coin purse or the recesses of an umbrella stand. Any space will do – so long as it is small, definite, and meaningful to you.

Alternative Prompts:

1. Dirty: Write a poem about getting covered in mud.

2. Light Switch: Write about coming out of the dark and seeing the light.

3. The Stars: Take inspiration from a night sky.


Luce
"She acts like summer, walks like rain." - Train
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JJWilliamson
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Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:00 am

The Universal Rule

I'm stars-struck tonight,
said the moon to the sun,
who'd been shining all day
and enjoying the fun.

I really quite fancy
the one on the right,
her twinkling corona's
a glorious sight.

She's too old for you,
so I doubt you should bother;
now don't say a word
for you favour my mother.
Long time a child and still a child
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Luce
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Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:10 pm

Prompt: The Stars

The Stargazer’s wife

I bought some oranges for my love today,
such perfect spheres. And as I bathed her,
I gave them their own moons and asteroid belt.

Their flesh glistens bright, not dulled
by disease, for like Venus, with her veils
stripped, I can now see the molten core
of my wife's being.

Today I recalled how we trekked
through a cornfield, how she carried
my lenses in her hands, against
her breasts, like precious jewels.

She saw Saturn for the first time,
with all his rings and even though
she was cold, she smiled at the magic
of it.

The doctor said it won’t be long.
Soon she'll have a front row seat,
watch a planet being born or a star
explode.

I’ll search for her, when she dies,
in the night sky, look for a pulsar or
a new terrestrial planet and say,

“That is my wife taking her place,
among the gods".

Luce


b]Luce[/b]
"She acts like summer, walks like rain." - Train
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JJWilliamson
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Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:59 pm

Loved reading this, Luce. It would make such a good rhyme & meter verse, I think.
Delightful.

Best

JJ

PS It's a good poem anyway, btw.

J
Luce wrote:Prompt: The Stars

The Stargazer’s wife

I bought some oranges for my love today,
such perfect spheres. And as I bathed her,
I gave them their own moons and asteroid belt.

Their flesh glistens bright, not dulled
by disease, for like Venus, with her veils
stripped, I can now see the molten core
of my wife's being.

Today I recalled how we trekked
through a cornfield, how she carried
my lenses in her hands, against
her breasts, like precious jewels.

She saw Saturn for the first time,
with all his rings and even though
she was cold, she smiled at the magic
of it.

The doctor said it won’t be long.
Soon she'll have a front row seat,
watch a planet being born or a star
explode.

I’ll search for her, when she dies,
in the night sky, look for a pulsar or
a new terrestrial planet and say,

“That is my wife taking her place,
among the gods".

Luce


b]Luce[/b]
Long time a child and still a child
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Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:30 pm

Just to say I'm very impressed by all of you who have been attempting a poem a day. And some very good poems coming out of it, too. Keep it up.

Ros
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JJWilliamson
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Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:39 pm

Reaching

One foot strains, stuck in the mud,
the hoe an extra limb; free leg
wobbles, buckles, fails.

Too much clay to overcome;
better find a soft spot this time.

My face, head, arms, hands, trousers,
jacket, socks, hat and new scarf
disappear beneath a veneer of icy soil.

“Quite refreshing”, I said to the clouds.
Gargoyle in the garden, thrashing
in the mud bath, sang the birds.

Too much clay to overcome,
too many sods clinging to my back.
Long time a child and still a child
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Luce
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Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:16 pm

JJ -

Yes, the 25th day poem would sound better in meter. I think I'll try my hand at blank verse for this one.

Wow great "mud" poem. I was hoping that someone would try this one.

Luce
"She acts like summer, walks like rain." - Train
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Sat Apr 29, 2017 5:14 pm

http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/
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