Salutations From My Arid Garret

[LysanderLiceHardy]

Greetings, my name is Lysander 'Lice' Hardy and I am a 36-yr-old poet from Norwich who has been honing his voice for 20 years. I am unpublished and also suffer from a mental health diagnosis, Borderline Personality Disorder. I have a 2.1 in English Lit from the Uni of Sheffield. I'm going to be honest and say that criticism along the lines of word changes isn't really something I feel comfortable with. It puts me in mind of an acid casualty art teacher I used to have called Mrs.Goldsmith, who would infuriatingly hover over one's GCSE daubings, penicl in talons, and starting erasing and 'redrawing' one's own output as soon as you put your hand up, even if you were only asking to go to the little poet's room. I for one cannot envisage changing many lines of my own poetry as a rule, I've already changed them several times behind closed doors. The type of criticism I will offer will mostly adhere to the maxim, 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. However, what interests me and what I think is the holy grail of poetry is our artistic quest for a mature, unique voice, for authenticity. With that in mind, I will endeavour to make my criticisms of an existential nature - what do I infer of the experiences and values the poem articulates, what is most individual about a given work, how is it characteristic of a given poet's general themes and idiosynchrasies? I am not here to improve vocabularies or 'Licify' other folks' work. All that would do is detract from the authenticity of your own output.
My own poetry can be heartfelt or humorous, but there are recurrent traits: a mixture of pop-cultural and literary tropes; themes such as self-loathing and mental health struggles, the perils and pitfalls of a hypersensitive man in a world which values uber-masculinity; underclass vignettes; a division into simpler lyrics - often actual songs which you can find on my FB page, you can have the address upon request - and longer, often more metric work, though as a rule I am more into internal rhythms and alliteration in a blank verse format. I am an adult (tho' I may come across as an enfant terrible) and my work will contain adult themes of suicide, politics, religion, philosophy and even occasionally sex, tho' I can't say my youthful dreams of poetry being a 'chick magnet' a la Jim Morrison have much been realised! I also swear when no other word will do. I'm not much of a fan of the 'everyone's a winner' mentality I detect in poetry nowadays, partly internet-fostered but also largely due to political correctness and the enforced brotherhood of an artform massively undervalued because of its uncommercial nature. I've attended poetry readings, but the bourgeois composition of the poetry and the punters made me feel uneasy, it was a clique and they claqued: Outsider poetry is really what shall again reclaw the 'debollocked' (as my mum would say) sleeping, seductive tiger of symbols and syntax. I feel more at home around graves than other poets, but maybe that will change. I hope so.

[Ros]

Hi Lice, Welcome to PG. IF you've been reading around here, you'll have a feel for how we work. Any type of critting is useful if it gives the poet something to think about, though I'm not as convinced as you that 'authenticity' is the main aim - I could write really badly and yet portray my authentic voice and feelings. Poetry is by its nature artificial, and open to improvement (in that it uses poetic devices more effectively, uses interesting language and image, produces in the reader the effect the writer wanted to achieve, etc etc). So generally people are expected to be open to thoughts about how language could be changed to achieve those aims. You will, therefore, receive that kind of critique - but are of course free to just say thanks and ignore suggestions. And the only way we can discuss anything is via the language of the poem, of course. But equally, no one is keen to produce poetry by committee.

I don't think we subscribe to the idea of 'everyone's a winner', therefore - positive comments are good but we're also keen to encourage those working hard to improve. I've found this is a good place to do that. I do agree that much of contemporary published poetry is a bit lame.

Ros

[Antcliff]

Greetings Lice. Welcome to PG.

I for one cannot envisage changing many lines of my own poetry as a rule.

It is a workshop, so much comment will be tied in with particular lines and may well be of a red pennish nature. As Ros says, certainly nobody is obliged to take any particular advice, though certainly nobody is obliged not to give line by line advice either. We never ask that people make particular changes, all that is up to the poster. But being open is a good thing.

However, what interests me and what I think is the holy grail of poetry is our artistic quest for a mature, unique voice, for authenticity.

Righto. But please keep in mind though that individual background doctrines on poetics are often not of much interest to other posters who are likely to be looking for engagement with the specifics of the text.


Seth

[LysanderLiceHardy]

Thanks for your introductions. I guess I'm looking for a place to share my poetry amongst those with some literary nous, rather than asking for help with the composition. I understand what you're saying about 'authenticity' being meaningless without skill, Ros, but by authenticity I also refer to craftsmanship. A poem from the heart by a lay-person is not the work of an 'authentic' poet, but of a lay-person communicating their genuine emotions. Perhaps I wasn't being clear. Seth, I do have a 'individual doctrine of poetics' - don't we all? - and find it hard to see how I could make 'objective' suggestions about improving another's work, one which didn't reflect my own tastes and style rather than theirs. That is why I shall seek to praise the praiseworthy in a general sense, rather than advise rewrites on the minutiae. Powerful poems come in all shapes and sizes, the what and why must have at least equal standing with the how. I like to think my poetry is replete with effects, allusions, puns and rhythms, but what is being said is what gives them life, representing that common curse, the human condition.

[Ros]

Good, we value craftsmanship too.

"I guess I'm looking for a place to share my poetry amongst those with some literary nous, rather than asking for help with the composition." - we are a workshop, rather than a site for sharing finished work. But then if it's good, we're also happy to say 'this is good, feels finished to me'. We also like to think we're friendly and flexible and don't insist too much on the rules as long as no one is taking advantage. I'll stop blithering and just let you get stuck in.

Ros

[LysanderLiceHardy]

how does one delete one's profile please? will this delete my posts also? fanx