Poetry Forum

Fliss, I'm sorry to hear of your health issues. If you can contribute, great. If not, absolutely not an issue. That applies to everyone. Regarding my own health issues. I'm up and down. That's physically and mentally. The recovery from radiotherapy is dragging on...and that does affect one's ability...

What an interesting word, I guess it could mean: The final smoky mountain destination of an epic journey. A dinosaur from (I’m surmising) the Triassic period. A product that lengthens and strengthens and lets you in at night when you’ve lost your key. An opera about a tossing boat upon a tossing sea...

Ha, I can imagine your audacious entrance! Why not indeed. I'm a big Kafka fan, yet I've never read Metamorphosis, I must remedy that.

I'm presently revisiting Cormac Mccarthy, after his recent death alerted me to him again. One of my favourite writers. Epic in his scope, Hemmingway in his approach. The border trilogy is brilliant. I've also got 'Shantaram' on the go. A tome of a book, but I'm very much enjoying his journey into th...

I have to assume that you are making up a special rule for me because you dislike me

BIG Sigh...

Nope, it's a rule for all, strangely enough no-one else flaunts it? Odd that.

I'll remove it then.

Is there really a rule against that? There is an etiquette to forums, and one especially (perhaps unspoken) rule of etiquette is NOT to bump your own poems (especially via critiquing them yourself) I would have thought after all these years you would have understood that? Lets put it this way, on a...

What struck me about this poem is the Kafkaesque nature of it. I'm a big fan of that sort of stuff. Probably the best poem I've seen you contribute, so I had to comment. Good stuff. Re you critiquing your own poem - Not really encouraged, if you could remove it, that would be appreciated. Cheers Kris

Hi Not, Thank you, that's much appreciated, as is your offer. I've had one other reply from a long-term forum member saying they'd be happy to contribute, which makes me think people do want the place to stick around. Strangely conspicuous by absence are the people who use the forum the most, which ...

I think I've come to the point, as it did with Nicola and Cam, where I don't feel I have the energy for this forum any longer. I'm tired, I've battled cancer, I'm still battling the aftermath. I have tried my utmost to keep this place afloat, but the lack of new talent and small handful of people co...

I enjoyed this too John, some excellent cack-handed observations! The title immediately caught my eye, as our very own M.E Smith (he of Prole Art Threat) created an album called 'Bend Sinister' I wonder if he had in mind "Bar Sinister in heraldry indicates a bastard" Probably... Also whils...

Perhaps it is a 'holding' title Morph and the waterfall line is the new title?

Ah! Could be.

I still prefer the original though.

Morph, Personally I'm not too keen on the new title. 'Gravity is Our Friend' or 'Our Friend Gravity' were much more subtle, I don't think the new title complements the content. That said it very much depends on what age you are writing for? I guess that is a very important aspect. Also think the lin...

I like it Morph, It strikes a suitable balance between education and humour. To my ears it flows well, but metrics aren't my strongest point! I didn't trip up though. it can act on our water and atmosphere too. Perhaps a replacement word for 'act' ? Kids should like/appreciate it depending upon what...

Thanks T, but maybe a little more context would give more emotional texture. Whilst I completely agree with that, it would indeed. Put in context, I wasn't aiming to write a poem of that nature. I can't do narrative and lofty emotions, it just doesn't work for me. So I seemed to have settled into ca...

Whilst searching for some Johnny Thunders tunes I happened upon this, by Johnny Thunder (no s) Never heard of him. It's great that you can still discover stone cold classics. If this isn't life affirming...

Thanks Ray.

What is it that's out of time - his dancing legs?

Indeed, that's what I had in mind, but also the very essence of the Tortoise. Its very existence in familiar surroundings.

Cheers
Kris

Thanks John, Glanced at? Perhaps, or maybe replace 'Glanced' ? I'll ponder. Thanks Morph, You lost me a little bit with "oscillating wildly" because they're slow creatures with careful movement right? Or maybe that's just the newly discovered planet and I shouldn't be making the connection...

I think after your various revisions, this is working well.

I see writing for children, much like writing rhyming poetry. One may presume it's a simple process, but it's far from it!

A good work in progress.

Cheers
Kris

This week I have mostly been listening to this



A beautiful piece of music.

I didn’t expect a planet untethered but there it was, atilt, oscillating wildly, primordial against the vivid-green inflorescence completely out of time… Unnerved, I grasped the carapace smooth and dense, gently turning, I glanced his hoary face, as if just exhumed I quickly placed him down gravity ...

This poem seems to rest so much on the introduction (presuming one is acquainted of The Full Monty) that it's difficult to differentiate the rest of the poem from it? There is a good idea in there somewhere: The father in law, the potential growth of the relationship? The sharing of the performative...

It kept me engaged throughout, a touching piece.

I tripped over:

get kind of excited

Sounded unnecessarily childlike?

and

God help us.

I don't think that embellishment was required and too much of a cliché?

Cheers
Kris

She arrives like a cartoon beneath a mess of locks only granddaughters’ possess Wot ya up to Livvy my eyes question her ‘Just bouncing’ ‘Are those sweets?’ They appear to be Would you care to partake? Her face scrunches into a question Would you like one? ‘Yes please, I’m allowed yellow sweets and b...

Your last poem was Brave New World inspired, this one - Keep the Aspidistra flying? I think I'll reply to your poems with Book Titles, it's much easier! On a serious note: Orwell uses the aspidistra, a symbol of the stuffiness of middle-class society and the familiar That's sort of what I got from t...

Tis a Brave New World for sure. Bring on the Soma I say!
Was a clever little touch.

Enjoyed.