Poetry Forum

I can't imagine anyone really has too much of a problem with older styles of poetry do they? I'm sure most will read anything from Catallus to Carol Ann Duffy (I'm sure there must be a better modern poet beginning with C!). But it does say Contemporary Poetry Forum in the banner. I suppose it depend...

Hello Perry, Interesting form. Sort of a loose iambic heptameter with the lines split? It gives it quite a stately feel. Not sure about the repeat of 'ineffable' quite a bold word to have twice in the same poem. S2L2 - 'by all accounts'. This doesn't seem to fit at all, the language is perhaps too c...

It's a shame this thread doesn't get the attention it deserves, I like to see what's on other people's bookshelves, so here are some recent reads of mine. Fiction Arthur Morrison - Cunning Murrell (pub. 1900) I really enjoy Morrison's work and it's unfortunate that he isn't as well known as he perha...

Best of luck with it, Tristan.

Works for me, RC.

Brilliant fun, TLF! You make it look so effortless. It's like Robert W. Service suddenly got a sense of humour!

All the best,
barrett

Remarkable piece of writing, RC. It's an awkward and uncomfortable read, just as it should be.

Not nits from me on the body of the piece but I have a slight reservation about the title, does wallop have a bit of a comical overtone that jars with the theme. Could just be me though.

barrett

I much prefer the original version, it has a sense ennui about it which I find appealing. Really dislike the revision. The inclusion of the parakeets make it an entirely different poem. Whereas the sauce bottle was the main source of imagery in the original, in the revision it has just become a biza...

Hmm. It has even been suggested that Poet is not a plucky little neophyte at all, but some sort of troll. Crossed my mind too, still doesn't stop me liking the poems though. I like the naivety of some of them, if not true outsider art then it's a clever approximation. As for this poem, I agree with...

Beautifully done, David. It's an interesting point that Perry makes. I wouldn't say I agree with it, but it's interesting and perhaps invites a question on how (or why) we read poetry. Personally, I think I possibly read it to experience the world through different eyes. Others may read it to see a ...

... also, just spotted a minor typo. The "it's" in the 7th line from the bottom doesn't need an apostrophe.

Hello th, It's a good solid portrait. The first thing I'd do with it (and it's just a personal choice) would be to introduce a bit of white space, separate it out a bit. The final five lines sit a bit awkwardly to my ear. How would you feel about losing "over the course of a few hours"? It...

Blimey, that's a bit special! Cheers for that.

It may be a bit obvious but, y'know, any excuse. Some Velvet (Underground - Sunday) Morning

Nice job! There's only one thing that can follow that.

Over to you, Mr. Camus!

I see this thread hasn't seen much action for a while. I'm game!

I commented on your Swan & Hawk poem and mentioned that I wasn't sure whether it was a beginner's piece or a very subtle and skilled piece of writing. Still not totally sure with this one. I really like it though, something quite haiku like about it, in the way that you capture the beauty and si...

Nothing constructive to add to this, bjondon, just dropping in to say how much I like it. I've got a bit of a thing for aubades and I love the conciseness of yours. That ending is perfect.

Cheers,
barrett

Hello Harbal, I'm not so sure about this one. It appears to be a sonnet but there's no volta that I can see, the end pretty much continues the same thought as the beginning. For it to work I would perhaps suggest the first three quatrains should extol the perceived virtues of the dawn chorus, the Mo...

Hello Namyh, I'm reading this with a ballad type beat, sort of in the vein of Robert W Service? Like 'The Cremation of Sam McGee' and all that? It mostly works well but, for me, the beat falters a bit in the final stanza. Is there not an old country song (or western, or country & western (I'm ne...

Thanks for the welcome, Mac!

I can't say I was ever a fan of Rupert but this is perfect, wouldn't change a thing.

"...patient, cloaked in spiky-­branch disguise,
waiting to be seen through Nutwood eyes."

That's a fine couplet and says a lot more than its seeming simplicity suggests!

Thanks,
barrett.

This is an intriguing one. At the moment I'm unsure whether this is a real beginner's piece or whether it's a very subtle and skilled piece of writing. There's obviously a naivety to it, but is that naivety intentional? Whatever it is, I like it, but I agree that hokum seems an odd choice of words t...

Beautiful piece, RC. Shame to lose "then pause and give our eyes / back to the night sky" in the revision. Lovely line but I see that it interferes with the ending. I do wonder about the first stanza. Is it possibly a little prosaic in comparison to the rest? The second line could almost b...

Hello all,

I used to write a fair bit until a few years ago, even had some (very) minor publishing successes in the mags, then it all dried up. Thinking about getting back into it again so I thought I'd sign up for some inspiration .

Here's hoping,
barrett