Poetry Forum

Seven foot zero of nicotine-bearded Gandalf
is boarding the eight-eighteen again,
bemoaning (by Blackberry) his staff,
to his (Glasgow City) Council.

Fly, you fool.

On holiday w/ limited mobile internet. Will check this out when I get home early nx week.

Thx

- N

Acceptance tames time
unless you're a physicist --
chair to that lion

Geoff, Brian. Thanks guys. I'm so far out of my writing-zone that your comments flatter me. Yes, "British" is one of those noun/adjectives that annoy me. There is no plural that works (unlike "Americans" or "Spaniards"), and "Britians" has that whole misplaced...

Unusually for British, they exorcised restraint on the first date in the restaurant ........over grilled pig ........with citrus jus then later at the gig, and especially on the bus back to your her place. But we they woke to awakenings fights over bagels and baps cream cheese or bacon and flings ar...

once upon a time
much much longer than exactly ten years ago to the very day today
there were two towers


- Neil

"Let's get after them"
ten years have taught you fuck all,
xenophobia.

I didn't know many people, and it was only a short-term job in Tesco. Not being native to the area, I stood out somewhat as a bumpkin, so the annual country-park BBQ seemed the perfect place to WF&IP. I decided to take my juggling equipment; beanbags, clubs, diabolo etc.. I hadn't deliberately p...

Nice work, Tim.

Great folds, shoulders & the hair is fab.

I'm with J on the arms though. The left arm seems a little short, but it's fingers are in better proportion.

Who is she? She pretty.



- Neil

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLVsrlOb ... detailpage[/youtube]

necksnap

trachea's best served al-dente
on crimson-white porcelain
forked with fine steel

welcome, chum

you're well prepared
plump forbidden fruit
napkin around your neck

we won't be needing those fava beans

Thanks, everyone. It's nice to come back to this one after a few months. I agree with everyone; S1 is the only bit worth saving. I remember what I was trying to do with S2, but it fails, badly. @champion: comments are never taken with offense, unless they're offensive :). Yours are useful, so thank ...

yw

Springsteen = spent singer

Just sayin' . . .

- Neil

meh . . . this isn't a party-political issue IHMO. The street-Scot has felt shat-upon by various UK governments forever, but is too lazy to riot (the Mark Renton defense for apparent indifference). It's a social issue, more to do with some new-fangled 'right to riot', social-media-buzziness, and opp...

no handling goods please -
Metropolitan Police
would like a quick word . . .

no July sunshine -
thirty one cloudless days from
Gaius Thurinus?

Hey, Shirls. :lol: Okay, thanks for the welcome. Not sure If I'm qualified enough to give my thoughts and critique to the poetry already here but shall have a go. IMHO, anyone is qualified to crit anything (even if it's a one-liner). I've been inactive here for a bit, bit if you want to crit somethi...

Hello Shirley. Step inside, love. Make yourself at home. Watch out, Shirley. He's a ladies man y'know. Some sort of international playboy. He'll be inviting you to his caravan in Buenos Aires next. Don't go! A friend. Wise words. Back in the day, David is rumoured to have mentored The Hef. Having s...

Just my thoughts though, I could well be completely wrong ( I probably am, David likes it and he's dead clever). Yeah, that's right. And I'm an international playboy too. Indeed . . . The Pappz follow David from the crown-bowling greens of Ramsey to tin-bath racing in Castletown to F1 horse-tram ra...

Hi, Gavin. L1 is a beaut. It draws me in, and is not let down by L2. Nice work L3 has "meditation", which I want to read as "medication". Clever if you meant it ;). L4-6 don't live up to their younger siblings I'm afraid. In L7, I don't understand the hyphen - sorry. It's gets in...

basement compiler -
led zep t-shirt, doc martens
no July sunshine

Hey, Tim. Nice to read your stuff again. I like the contrast betwwen the first2/last2 (his moment) with the middle (her moment). Nice timing too in there. And a nice shape to reflect it all. I might be tempted to make the modifiers/references in the middle 6 lines a touch more feminine (whatever tha...

Hey, Jonny. I'm sorry I don't have time for a full crit of this, but it deserves a few quick comments. "golden toffee hammer" is really nice off the tounge. "Before its prime": cliché? "Under the weight of an unknown fate Where the air smells like the distant conscience Of a...