Poetry Forum

Thank you, Pauline. I'm replying a little late because the forum has just been down for two days. I'm glad you like the poem, but surprised by your advice. I write so many of my poems in ordinary stanzas that it would seem a shame to put this poem in that form. The couplets seem perfect to me -- the...

Thank you, JJ. The "Drat" may not be necessary. (I love your "avatar". I'll eventually figure out which old-time film star those eyes belong to. Lon Chaney? Bela Lugosi?) NotQuiteSure, I just want to make sure you understand what's in the parenthetical phrases. When a woman goes ...

I can’t help it if another man is taller than me (instead of being unaccountably shorter than all his siblings), or if his body is well muscled, probably from playing college sports (instead of having been a bookworm since childhood), or if his hair is thick and full, though he might be nearing thir...

It is nice to see a narrative poem. Narrative poetry seems to be a dying art. I'm a person who never learned to drive, so I have spent my entire life on bicycles to get around. I wasn't, however, a bicycle aficionado. I never rode a bike that was better than it needed to be. This is a very ambitious...

Thank you, 1lankest. If you can give me an example of the kind of language you would like to see, that would be helpful. a dollop of poetry imaginative imagery metaphor You want something more poetic, more than just anger perhaps? I have another protest poem about the Myanmar/Rohingya situation whic...

This is one of my favorite poems. Everything else that Sexton wrote was in a chaotic free verse, so one wonders if she got help with this poem. The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator The end of the affair is always death. She’s my workshop. Slippery eye, out of the tribe of myself my breath finds you ...

The interesting thing about repetition in poetry is that it cries out for structure and form. Repetition can be very effective if it is regular and predictable. The repetition in this poem, however, occurs within a structure that is essentially free verse. Not only do the lines vary from strophe to ...

Thank you for the pep talk, Mac. I shouldn't assume that just because there isn't an immediate response to a poem doesn't mean people don't like it. I need to be more patient. Also, part of it is my own fault: I come across as a know-it-all, and that doesn't endear people to my poems (that's a defen...

I've just had a nap, and I'm feeling a little better now. I didn't mean my comments as any kind of attack, and I didn't mean to be argumentative. It's just that wherever I go, no one seems to like my poems much, even the simple poems like this one. It can get frustrating. You keep calling me "J...

Macavity, you know as well as I do that "warm" is all wrong. You know that throwing unnecesary adjectives into a poem to fill out the meter rarely works -- and besides, "warm" is the wrong image for a poem of this type. It seems that you don't like the poem; otherwise you'd say m...

Thank you, Not. L1 is enjambed the way it is only because I was counting syllables. "to" actually takes a stress (or, at the least, a theoretical stress), so it is better to end the line on "to" than on "pudding" (not that the poem is carefully metered -- it isn't). I'l...

I had meant to wait a week before posting my next poem, but nothing new has been posted in a while. I have critiqued two or three poems since I posted Petals . The Lost Legacy of the Buddha When the peasant girl gave rice pudding to Gautama, thereby setting into motion the birth of the Buddha, she s...

I haven't yet read the article, which I will momentarily, but this is something I've thought about. I once saw a video of Frost reciting "Stopping by Woods", and there was no music in his recitation. I think the problem is simply that few poets have the ability to express with their vocal ...

It took me a while to absorb and warm up to this poem. I like it. It is a direct and clear political statement. You say that Americans don't understand British irony. I do think I grasp the irony in this poem, but I would like there to be a little more of it. A couple small suggestions: Let Budweise...

Mirror, thank you for your clarification. I'm still looking for another word. NotQuiteSure, thank you for thoroughly examining the poem. Quite a few of your critiques should be useful. The only one I want to respond to is the word "pavement". In Britain, it means what Americans call the &q...

Mirror, you're right that "lunacy" isn't quite the right word. It's more a kind of obstinacy that the speaker is suffering from. However, colloquially, the word "lunacy" can be used to mean "nutty". "Lunacy" does have the sound that I want. Can I get your opin...

Thank you, Elph. About 90% of the time when posting a poem, I consider it to be finished and I am posting it to see people's reactions and to discover if perhaps I've made a glaring error which I overlooked. I probably should post poems earlier in the writing process, but I'm not always participatin...

She came to me in a dream in a strange antique coif, not the damp and matted curls in which she had been taken off. Seeming stern, but not unkind, she said You never think of me. I could not get across to her the underlying irony. Having joined the forum just recently, I've been looking down the li...

I was looking for a forum where people could post their favorite poems. The "Found Poetry" forum doesn't seem to be it. But I did find this thread from 2014. I noticed that the poem above is missing a line. Here is the complete poem: Piazza Piece — I am a gentleman in a dust coat trying To...

Thank you, Macavity. I'll think about the things you said. Regarding rhyme, I don't usually rhyme (as this poem shows), but I like to throw in unexpected rhymes for emphasis. I understand that it would be jarring to some readers, however. Perhaps I should reconsider the technique. I own a vase which...

Thank you so much, Mirrorball. I would love to have a discussion about the difference between "show" and "tell", because it isn't completely clear to me. I wonder if such a discussion already exists somewhere on the board. It seems to me that a good poem has to have a little bit ...

Binz, I'm just asking Elphin exactly what he/she thinks I should do. I've always been satisfied with my first stanza. The problem is that Elphin's last bit of advice didn't make sense to me.

What I find useful is to write the poem free of the constraints of structure and then once it says what you want it to say parse it into lines and verses in a way that adds to the "mere" words. The other way to do it, I worry leads to padding to make words fit a pre-defined structure-- e....

Elph, here is what I wrote: In this church parking lot, petals are blown in circles by the wind, petals from a nearby pear tree. Here is what you wrote: In this church parking lot, pear tree petals circle in the wind, and here is what Binz wrote: Beside the church, pear petals pirouette. Binz's line...

Thank you, everyone. I’m going to try to come up with images for the sixth stanza that are a little less bizarre and more appropriate to a petal. The idea of a petal calling the police to arrest the wind is the kind of thing that really hits my funny bone, but I can see that it would fall flat for s...