Poetry Forum

I really like this one, John. I am one of two, and now have two children, so I probably think too much along those lines. But I imagine that to be the third child feels rather like "... and here's another one". Certainly I remember the first days of parenthood being much less breathlessly ...

Okay. Engaging brain ... but teatime approacheth.

Thanks Morph!

David

Congratulations Caleb. I like that one. A rare venture into rhyming for you? I don't remember seeing many others.

David

Well done Phil. (Strange to see one of these without Seth in. But you're a regular visitor too.)

I like your parallel universe image.

David

Okay ... do we need to do a Turing test on this one first?

Ah, thank ye kindly, Phil. Nice of you to share this. I had forgotten the collegiality here. (It's less well-developed than it used to be, I think, but there are still traces of it.) Thanks John. the kingdom of the corner of the eye. Yer've still got it, mate. Thanks Ray. This is quite an old one no...

Can Villa be regarded as parochial? Other than that, it seems a weird response. I can imagine a US magazine rejecting it on those grounds, but I can't imagine them using the word "parochial" - or do they have parishes too?

Hi John. I do too! Thank you for trusting me on this. I just hope someone else will happen along and tell us that your trust hasn't been misplaced.

Cheers

David

This is a touching story, John. I cherish the dreams in which the dead reappear. They don't come around often enough, really. But is there a little bit too much of the unnecessary in this? I humbly suggest there may be ... My work moves forward. I was up last night reviewing French philosophers - it...

I can see that this would work very well in real life, and that's a good thing. You've desweetened it pretty effectively from that first high-saccharine effort, just leaving a couple of unsatisfactory bits and bobs for me. The stress seems to fall in the wrong place in L1, leaving "who" lo...

Yes, enjoyed it. It sounds very Dr Who (maybe an offshoot of his sonic screwdriver). The form - the terse repeating lines, with that much more voluble S4 - works very well.

I think John is right about that last line.

Cheers

David

Cheers Ton. That ending may need a little revisiting. That's cleared the confusion not a jot. The jackdaw is talking to someone he thinks is Odin? Wherefore and why? This may not be much help either, but Odin ysed to talk to the birds (he was known for it), and they used to talk to him. Michael, you...

Another great ramble. I couldn't work out how the ferry could have taken you to such a place as the Thomas De La Rue In, so I looked it up. It's Guernsey, so that makes sense now. (Still there too, apparently.) Lots of good stuff, of course, but the Girl Guide badges were a highlight for me. I have ...

Thanks Ray. Some ghost of that phrase has been loitering at the edge of my mind, and you've pinned it down. That makes me think I probably do need to revisit that wording. That's not Odin at the end, that's the jackdaw, with a fag in its mouth, being all ominous and premonitory. To me this is a clim...

A nice vignette, John. "Columbarium" is new to me - a welcome guest.

Cheers

David

Thanks, John and Phil. Line 2 is probably a bit long, isn't it? I could drop "brief", perhaps.

The opening line is my hommage to John Clare, who started so many poems "I love ..."

I do like jackdaws. And I love John Clare.

Cheers

David

I love their little martial jauntiness – comic carabinieri, all puffed up with a brief temporary dignity put on like an older sibling’s coat, soon doffed when something bigger makes them jump. Cars. Disdainful rooks. Mothers with prams. And this one, on a post outside the pub, has picked up a sodden...

A bit of a red wheelbarrow vibe to this? It does have a sort of haiku feel to it, too. Starting from what you've given us here, the possibilities seem endless. What might happen? What is significant? Quite an achievement, for a few brief lines.

Cheers

David

How dare you! If we're famed for anything, it's being flat. I'll refer you to this poem: https://proleartthreat.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=551&p=1738#p1738 I'm so pleased all that stuff is still there, intact. I still refer to it, sometimes, when I wonder what was said about an old poe...

jisbell00 wrote: ↑

Sun Sep 03, 2023 3:16 pm

Here's Google hard at work:

The band's name comes from a local delicacy - a cockle from Stiffkey, a village on the North Norfolk coast whose name is often pronounced 'Stookey' or 'Stewkey'. :)

Cheers,
John

You've pinned it down, John. Thanks.

David

flat without the attendant fame – How dare you! If we're famed for anything, it's being flat. I'll refer you to this poem: https://proleartthreat.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=551&p=1738#p1738 Nice work of course, but my appreciation of it lessens because I don't understand the " Sto...

Hi David, just a couple of comma suggestions: one after 'Norfolk' (I like the idea that N has resolved more than once.) and the other after 'Walsingham'. Like Lia's idea about moving 'flat' to L3. (Thanks for the Henry VIII explanation, that was puzzling me.) Regards, Not . Thanks for looking in, N...

ton321 wrote: ↑

Sun Sep 03, 2023 1:42 am

"Traffic makes pilgrims out of everyone."

I think I quoted that from myself.


Nice Piece David.

T

It's a nice quote, Ton. Thanks.

David

I once arrived at Lincoln after dark, aged eleven, and the cathedral appeared to be floating in midair: Lincoln at least is on a hill, but i think the rest of the county is fairly flat. Cheers, John I remember that climb too, John. It made it feel - just a little bit - like an Italian hill-town, wi...