Poetry Forum

Interesting David, it's been a while since I've seen you post an out and out rhymer and this one really drives the music home. The metrical variations are intriguing but the distraction does give a sense of unfaithfulness. There's a certain mystery to the poem, particularly with the Tom Dooley refer...

It's a very sad poem Ray. I recall you writing about a child with ADHD in the past, are we talking about the same child? The poem I remember was quite caring and loving whereas this one is looking back at relationship breakdown from one perspective with 20/20 vision and it is ugly. I don't know wher...

Interesting sonnet John, it's well put together from a rhyme and metrical point of view. I was expecting an optimistic turn on L9 but instead you've hammered home the ageing process, which I suppose is something that we can't avoid. The final line does give the reader to opportunity to rebel though....

I've never read an epic poem before John and my knowledge of the classics is somewhat limited but I enjoyed your mix of the modern with the Greek mythology on life's long quest for meaning in a rich tapestry of experiences. The unrhymed tercets with occasional internal rhyme breaks the long distance...

Thank you both, I've come up with a fix that uses both suggestions.

Apparently 'three' is the magic number in writing or the rule of three as proven by John's entertaining three stanza poem. John, in all seriousness I think poetry needs a professional body with codes of conduct etc. and that would side-line certain Eratosaurs into extinction. Thanks Lia, I had 'comp...

I've simplified the calculations and standards in S2 and ditched serenades (which are more for song writing really). What do you reckon to the update?

Thanks again.

Thanks Lia, I'll have another look at S2. The poem caused an uproar elsewhere....particularly with the feminists and those who think of themselves as prefects to the cause of good poetry. I honestly didn't think anyone would take this poem seriously and see it as an affront. A load of ad hominem, a ...

Yes, I think you've modernised it well now Ray.

Great work John and well done, you have a good eye for what makes a good ekphrastic poem.

Thanks John, I was thinking of cake as a cooked thing and I'm no poet in French clearly.

In answer to the English Channel question. I think it begins at the Atlantic and ends at the North Sea but I wasn't sure if that was a trick question?

Je ne pense pas aux frontières mais certains disent que les Français aimeraient avoir leur Cabillaud à la Provençale et le manger.

Mac, I did have a quick look at the Imperial press releases and they are interesting. The underlying studies would be well worth delving into. With Science, as I'm sure you'll know, there has to be agreement by consensus and, unlike climate change causes, I don't think an absolute consensus had been...

That's cool Mac.

I need to save my rockets for other wild frontier lands.

Mac, I studied Geography and Geology at A level. Climate change has been accelerated by human activity but coastal erosion has many causes including rock type (softer rocks like boulder clays and chalk are susceptible for example) and movement of natural barriers such as sand bars and rocks by storm...

Ray, good idea to twist away from magazines but kids these days are not on Facebook or Instagram. Those are the uncool apps used by parents. Kids are on YouTube a lot and they prefer the likes of Snapchat and Roblox when using an iPad. Also, they like to spend Robux on creating a virtual reality ver...

Thanks Caleb, I really appreciate your endorsement on this poem and I shall do my best to improve the meter when I get a free slot. I'm busy catching up on critting responsibilities first. Yes, I agree we're both not afraid to use ugly or blunt language and images in a poem when called for and it's ...

Another great title John, you're on form at the moment. I think this one is both effective and affective. It had the chilling effect of the end of a poetic relationship where the narrator finds there's something in the value system of the another poet that is completely incompatible with the narrato...

Was it 'best before' or 'used by'? There's a difference over here, I'm still eating Vegemite I found in the Cupboard that went out of date in 2019 but it's best before so there's no problem. I wouldn't risk tartar sauce though.

It's another entertaining story Caleb, thanks for the read.

I like your ending suggestion Ray. I'll definitely be revisiting the long term love line. I could do with working on the last two stanzas and sorting out the meter in one or two places. Some US formalists elsewhere accused me of posting a lazy draft amongst other things. I'm not sure about title eit...

Ray, if you're wanting something that's more timeless that Frozen Shrek then think Nintendo. Pokémon and Mario seem to be in vogue forever. Every form of Pikachu would lose a slant rhyme on shrek/Next though. Was Next a magazine? I don't remember that one but I know the retailer. Anyway, I could rel...

Hi Lia, I enjoyed this and your unusual presentation of it. I'm also jealous that you got a Caleb award. I've toiled for many moths on here with little prospect of a plaque in Caleb Corner. To quote Cope, I have "no hope, even, of a modest bust." in Murdock Abbey. It's nice to see you get ...

I might give John a nudge towards this thread. It's best for him to confirm but I think he uses Beginners board to stop Experienced board becoming overwhelmed by his prolific output. In truth I don't use the boards, I navigate by latest content so my feed is generally dominated by John's work and I ...

Hi John, I think I posted The Garbage Man Can song (Simpsons) on the music thread over the summer for your amusement already. In the UK, our bin men and women still roll wheelie bins onto a compactor. lifting latch. Our bin men come on a Friday afternoon when I'm cutting the grass and the smell is p...

I wasn't suggesting we should keep beginner's board. I was saying that there are accomplished poets like John where they are just looking for regular read, share and short reaction rather than a line by line critique. The BBC used to have a board for free style critique and a board for review by num...