Poetry Forum

Clockhands He's sprawled, drawing on Gabriel's thighs with a lit cigarette. The catalysts of war were shot to womb impregnating covered, weighty, ebony-stars. Sarkozy-styled suits drenched in a "hardcore"-teenager's four percentage alcoholic consumption and he wastes time in the shower. Pe...

That's so very sweet. I really liked this, it's not mushy or silly it's just what it is within restraint. Lovely read.

I agree, I think the idea was clever but dreams was very over used, though if you squeeze the content and take out some of those repeated words I think you could have an reasonably good poem on your hands.

Thank you, I tried to adapt it to the notes that a piccolo would play but I will keep flicking back and try to be less 'this is a poem' in my next piece. Thank you.

It all pays reference, if you will, to Donnie Darko and it's two word, most-beautiful line of 'Cellar Door' everything followed suit in my rant of how 'Cellar door' is in no way the two most beautiful words. This was something I once said to the person who showed me the film. "You have been per...

Broken Piccolo Broken Piccolo Their notes devoured me - with words confirmed in tongue twisters and arching, back-handed compliments. I was simple. As I with fluid, lazy hands played them like an acoustic guitar, moving their muscles and their lies. He - my strings, my bow, living instrument. Donni...

I did personally just prefer the first, more impact even with the curiosity but I like it over all.

Pure brilliance - I laughed the whole way through and I like the beat, it worked personally.

Thank you, David and Gavin. I think it's a little cliche but someone told me that I never write of romance even when I feel it.

Sensibility I wait for the morning to wake you and ruffle your golden flecks falling like dust on the floor when stemming me into a stupor and those occasions and those fleeting moments and those lucky days relight my willing, greying, ashtray heart. I'm waking you only to kiss those lips of cupid'...

'My name is irrelevant. I'm just a person from a town. I'm a statistic, I'm a number, how do I narrow this down? My influence is minimal, a minor percentage at best. I live in a country like every person, just like the rest... Being a statistic, now it ain't all that bad, though we influence others....

'Our so called democoracy has so many flaws,
Thats why we march through the streets and we smash through the doors,' I honestly quite enjoyed this line. Nice work.

Thank you, Lovely!

Regardless confusion I am the bar of my own tune, and that's the beat of sexual healing the bar of my own tune that is bald headed metal and long haired rock and afro-haired club and sunglasses only for the truly cool. I am the bar of my own tune, that danced with my mother on bent knees as if we we...

her mind is all boxes arranged for the ticking required for order; fitting into the order of ticking required for ---maybe 'of ticking, meet the requirement for her mind's boxes.' her minds boxes. some boxes are old and tickless, some are new and ticked, but in all; ticks are required for order. for...

Thank you, Neil... I will have a little looking and see what I can do edit wise to this and slate-wise to yours =] Thanks again!

That's intense...I probably shouldn't have been listening to Tears and Rain at the time...Oh well, it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful you really opened up the doors of a mind brilliantly.

The words in it give it so much depth, it's something that seems completely personal to the author, I like those as it seems the reader is only allowed in a certain amount and then pushed back.

I love the way you don't just write the poem you tell the tale. That's very clever - nice work!

I hide behind a wall of words, Protected here by metaphors. They hold your world at arms length, Until I can find my own strength. ---- Who is the 'your' in 'your' world and did they cause you to build a 'wall of words'? If so use them as this feels a little emotionless and vague for me. If you mean...

Funeral Blues does sort of overtake this but as a piece standing on its own I think you did brilliantly, I loved hearing the couplet surrounding 'the working week' again as I think it's a very clever line. I also thought you didn't use too many typical rhymes, for me there were a lot of clever lines...

Thank you, Meesha - It is true, his poem is stunning and thank you, Arian also. I know it is cluttered hopefully I can look back and sort it in time. Thanks again

Ah, okay, Ros - I will get right on that, there's a certain style I like, I must admit and I neer want to slate anyone's work so I just choose the ones I think are truly stunning but just need a little work. Thank you Lovely and thank you B.

[center]Inaudible.[/center] You said there was a rage within me. It's the curse, in a verse and worse, much worse. It's tasteless, with no motive, no mood, no explanation, my reputation ruins me, don't you see? Where are my parents at? Fucked me up with a dead cat. Set an example, make me a sample ...

Bad Blood A villanelle Riley touched herself and bathed her feet. When she was nine she first noticed her coming of age and imagined her brother, Pete. She bleached the bathroom, to keep her mind neat and clean, like a white, new page. Riley touched herself and bathed her feet. She took a walk to c...