I think you were right to dump the tv bit, it took me outside, distanced from the personal, and the poem is better for the edit in my view. It is still a clever image, perhaps for another poem.
Phil
Search found 8592 matches
- Fri May 03, 2024 3:52 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: hungry words (was: ‘each moment’)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 52
- Fri May 03, 2024 3:45 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Uisge Beatha
- Replies: 0
- Views: 4
Uisge Beatha
This water of life burns a malted mind. I am this grain. To curse a day, and grind these hours, smell my breath and know my night. Its whispered grip will blur the cliche light, retire this wrinkled reason, find deep sleep. No dreams for me. I drink and drink it neat. Such steeping, toasting, mashin...
- Fri May 03, 2024 3:40 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Crowstep
- Replies: 0
- Views: 5
- Fri May 03, 2024 3:39 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: CalebPerry is in Mobius
- Replies: 1
- Views: 5
Re: CalebPerry is in Mobius
Congratulations Caleb.
- Fri May 03, 2024 2:16 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 12
- Views: 62
Re: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
Cheers Tristan.
- Thu May 02, 2024 7:01 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: hungry words (was: ‘each moment’)
- Replies: 5
- Views: 52
Re: hungry words (was: ‘each moment’)
Particularly liked the closing seven lines Tristan.
Enjoyed
Phil
Enjoyed
Phil
- Thu May 02, 2024 4:40 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Snakeskin (May)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 34
Re: Snakeskin (May)
Just want to highlight the fact that Ray has some quality poems in this publication as well guys.
- Wed May 01, 2024 9:01 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Snakeskin (May)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 34
Snakeskin (May)
Congratulations to John, Ray, Fliss and David. A feast of their poetry in this month's Snakeskin.
https://snakeskinpoetry.co.uk/
https://snakeskinpoetry.co.uk/
- Wed May 01, 2024 7:21 am
- Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
- Topic: The Chain
- Replies: 3604
- Views: 352341
- Wed May 01, 2024 7:19 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 12
- Views: 62
Re: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
Cheers Caleb
- Wed May 01, 2024 7:18 am
- Forum: Poetry Discussion
- Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
- Replies: 340
- Views: 62756
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 11:08 am
- Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
- Topic: The Chain
- Replies: 3604
- Views: 352341
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 10:45 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 12
- Views: 62
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 10:25 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 12
- Views: 62
Re: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
Real football is in div 2 and mid table mediocrity!
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 9:22 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 12
- Views: 62
Re: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
Cheers. Buddhism is one interpretation. Personally, I prefer oblivion.
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 9:19 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: That Old Familiar
- Replies: 11
- Views: 77
Re: That Old Familiar
Nah, it is about cash (not your right back), and which day of the week to play (and pick up injuries), and players get better by playing better players (I know all the clichés...particular hates... reference to heroes and 'putting his body on the line').
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 4:30 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: That Old Familiar
- Replies: 11
- Views: 77
Re: That Old Familiar
Interesting Ray (triggered a thought of the 'other' poster here). Agree, identity is not a singular, though I say this without thinking about the splits in psychology. Like how you play with distancing here, beginning with that fun/menacing opening line. eulogies for boozers reassigned as mosques ke...
- Sun Apr 28, 2024 10:02 pm
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 12
- Views: 62
Re: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
Cheers John. A second round on me
- Sun Apr 28, 2024 12:38 pm
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 12
- Views: 62
- Sat Apr 27, 2024 6:59 pm
- Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
- Topic: The Chain
- Replies: 3604
- Views: 352341
- Sat Apr 27, 2024 7:23 am
- Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
- Topic: The Chain
- Replies: 3604
- Views: 352341
- Sat Apr 27, 2024 5:42 am
- Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
- Topic: The Chain
- Replies: 3604
- Views: 352341
- Fri Apr 26, 2024 2:44 pm
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Lacuna
- Replies: 3
- Views: 41
Re: Lacuna
Enjoyed Ray. Had a Cooper Clark vibe (at least in my head).
Congrats
Phil
Congrats
Phil
- Fri Apr 26, 2024 8:55 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Things That Won't Stop Until They Stop
- Replies: 5
- Views: 70
Re: Things That Won't Stop Until They Stop
Things That Won’t Stop Until They Stop My heart won’t stop doing the jitterbug. I’m not sure why it’s so much alive, constantly moving like a hyperactive child. This is my old age, time to relax, so why is part of me always at a dance? It needs to conserve itself for important things, like when tha...
- Fri Apr 26, 2024 8:37 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Boat Trip
- Replies: 6
- Views: 90
Re: Boat Trip
Agree with Kris on the excellent ending, though perhaps a quieter touch on the sibilance and canopy/haphazardly/floaty could do with one less. Liked the shimmer of cars and buses, lets hope the summer haze comes soon!