Search found 6666 matches
- Thu May 02, 2024 2:43 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: hungry words (was: ‘each moment’)
- Replies: 2
- Views: 28
Re: each moment
Enjoyed the read, Tristan. Not sure how the title reflects the poem. You want sync, not sink. Don't really see the purpose of "maybe never was."
- Thu May 02, 2024 9:12 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: That Old Familiar
- Replies: 10
- Views: 71
Re: That Old Familiar
Thanks Caleb. I agree with all you say, except that it's mostly Western consumption rather than values that's the problem. Yes, the future is exceedingly bleak and like most of us I can't bear too much reality. So I take refuge in football, poetry, creatures that don't exist.
- Wed May 01, 2024 8:29 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: That Old Familiar
- Replies: 10
- Views: 71
Re: That Old Familiar
Hello Caleb. Yeah, you're right about the grammar, though it's how it's what I'd use in everyday speech. I've turned the line around a bit. I'd never consider submitting this poem for publication, too personal.
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 10:37 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 10
- Views: 53
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 10:20 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 10
- Views: 53
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 8:31 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
- Replies: 10
- Views: 53
Re: Noon Journal of the Short Poem
Well done, Phil. I gotta confess I don't understand the poem, but then what do I know of Joy?
- Tue Apr 30, 2024 8:27 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: That Old Familiar
- Replies: 10
- Views: 71
Re: That Old Familiar
Thanks for the comments. Caleb, The Penguin is kind of an alter ego. I've been Penguin, or more often penguin, on several other sites. I don't know if you've heard of the IBPC, Inter Board Poetry Competition, (defunct now), Anyway, I won it about 10 years ago when posting as penguin on Wild Poetry F...
- Mon Apr 29, 2024 9:26 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Object Permanence
- Replies: 10
- Views: 90
Re: Object Permanence
I don't know that the omission of that passage has made it any worse. I'd go no further than that. The epistemology of loss,,, whilst I quite admired the Berryman poem it seems to be begging for a lampoon. I might write one myself on the loss of one's balls.
- Mon Apr 29, 2024 9:14 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: That Old Familiar
- Replies: 10
- Views: 71
That Old Familiar
You’ll never walk alone , The Penguin proclaims, when I’ve changed my avatar and name, faked my death and finally left the faithful following, the counting of likes and courting approbation. Birthday candles every day for someone I’ll never know, a demonstration against the right to demonstrate, 5 ...
- Sun Apr 28, 2024 9:56 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Lacuna
- Replies: 3
- Views: 40
- Sun Apr 28, 2024 9:52 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Boat Trip
- Replies: 6
- Views: 89
Re: Boat Trip
Thanks all. I decided, after Phil's comments, that this line would have to go -
and splash the sky haphazardly.
and splash the sky haphazardly.
- Fri Apr 26, 2024 8:19 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Things That Won't Stop Until They Stop
- Replies: 5
- Views: 69
Re: Things That Won't Stop Until They Stop
I don't think you should bin it, the first stanza is fine. I particularly like the crawling baby line. I just think it needs something more novel to finish with. The hyperactive child/ crawling baby might be worth enlarging.
- Fri Apr 26, 2024 8:11 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Boat Trip
- Replies: 6
- Views: 89
Re: Boat Trip
Thanks both. I'd not realised how alliterative those opening lines are. No, I've not retired, I just forget where I'm supposed to be quite a lot.
- Fri Apr 26, 2024 7:53 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Lacuna
- Replies: 3
- Views: 40
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 10:01 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Object Permanence
- Replies: 10
- Views: 90
Re: Object Permanence
This will not be
the only loss this boy will ever face,
and some won’t end so happily.
Hello John. I think you could leave that passage out and have a more dramatic, poignant ending.
the only loss this boy will ever face,
and some won’t end so happily.
Hello John. I think you could leave that passage out and have a more dramatic, poignant ending.
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 9:54 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Ray and Phil in Flight of the Dragonfly
- Replies: 8
- Views: 90
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 7:28 am
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Ray and Phil in Flight of the Dragonfly
- Replies: 8
- Views: 90
Re: Ray and Phil in Flight of the Dragonfly
Thanks. Having that Facebook poem accepted made me remarkably happy, almost optimistic. It won't last, though.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 1:18 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Boat Trip
- Replies: 6
- Views: 89
Boat Trip
A city sliding serpentine, the swans upon the Severn stream towards us sinuous, then curve away as we draw close. She strokes the river from our boat, swallows suicidal dive then bank and soar the jeopardy to punctuate the canopy. All is floaty, on the bridges cars and buses undulate and shimmer in ...
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 1:12 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Absent
- Replies: 4
- Views: 132
Re: Absent
What you missed I can barely express, which I’m sure you’ll agree, must be irony?
You’d have hated it.
I wish you were there.
Loved it all, but those bits best. Yes, I think I've met Mr Beckett several times myself.
You’d have hated it.
I wish you were there.
Loved it all, but those bits best. Yes, I think I've met Mr Beckett several times myself.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 1:06 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Houses of the Holy
- Replies: 6
- Views: 144
Re: Houses of the Holy
Hello Tony. I like the comparison between cathedral and house. If they were only drinking White Lightning then that would vaguely resonate with a whirlwind, but the Piggy Stick and porch/garage leaves me cold. I'd keep the can.
- Wed Apr 24, 2024 12:57 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Things That Won't Stop Until They Stop
- Replies: 5
- Views: 69
Re: Things That Won't Stop Until They Stop
Hello Caleb. I think the first stanza is pretty good, though maybe you could do without the final line and "much" in line 2. The 2nd stanza, well, it's predictable, I suppose, no surprises there. I really don't think you need to introduce another dance, it feels like padding. You might con...
- Sun Jan 14, 2024 11:21 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: A Thorough Cat
- Replies: 2
- Views: 358
A Thorough Cat
Between the apple tree and trampoline our piratical cat with black-patched eye, flashes his white tail, fixes the green stare on I as I hang the washing to dry. A wood-pigeon’s feathers blanket the grass like a snowdrift that’s forgotten to melt. Our villain inspects his undertaking, a shroud laid o...
- Sun Jan 14, 2024 11:18 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Retirement
- Replies: 11
- Views: 734
Re: Retirement
It's all a bit too telegraphed, I think and you need something written on that piece of paper. How would you know that paper has been there 6 months?
- Sun Jan 14, 2024 11:12 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Clay's First Episode
- Replies: 10
- Views: 711
Re: Rain and Constellations
He was struck down before he fathered children: - that's an interesting line, but is kind of stuck out on a limb, goes nowhere. Can't really fathom the rest of the tale.
- Fri Jan 12, 2024 4:33 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Like Benjamin Zephaniah
- Replies: 11
- Views: 836
Re: Like Benjamin Zephaniah
But Ray, you (or the speaker in the poem if that isn't you) say that you have convictions but were able to adopt, so isn't there an injustice being outlined in the poem? My convictions were of a lesser order, though I was once convicted of carrying an offensive weapon - it wasn't a poem - but perha...